The Benefits of Receiving Constructive Feedback (4 Advantages)
How we can benefit from a good Samaritan’s honest feedback
Desperate for an opinion
I am sitting here, working on my blog, as I do every weekend lately. I am spending precious time thinking, writing, formatting, and thinking some more. Strategizing, planning ahead, assessing the value I add to others (dare I say to society!). I am putting myself out there trying to minimize expectations and just do what feels good. Writing the post you are reading is one of those things.
But then questions and insecurity set in. I stop to think things through once more. Am I doing the right thing? Are you actually interested in what I write? Is there something to draw from the content, something that inspires you, helps you?
I bet you have been there too. You don’t even need to maintain a blog to have such thoughts.
We all crave for feedback around our professional capabilities, parenting skills or guitar-playing efforts. Clearly we are not perfect at every single thing we involve ourselves with. We need to know where we can improve, or where to pay special attention.
What good does some useful feedback do, however? Why is it so important, and why should you strive to receive it?
1. Avoiding traps and setbacks
Picture this scenario: You just turned 18. Like many people reaching the legal driving age, you sign up for a driving course. What do you think will happen if the instructor doesn’t correct your delayed brake, during practice? What if he doesn’t point out that you forgot to put your seat belt on?
Best case scenario: you will not pass the test. Worst case scenario: you will have a car accident. Either way, it’s not looking good.
If you think about it, the role of the instructor is primarily to give you feedback. A person is getting paid to correct movements or decisions that could prove dangerous or even fatal. At least that’s what they are supposed to be doing.
Constructive feedback works the same way. It may not always be life-saving. However, it can certainly be used to avoid obstacles and learn from other people’s mistakes. Why go through disappointment, grief or other negative feelings if you can avoid them in the first place? You only need to take feedback seriously and pay attention to helpful criticism.
2. Not making the same mistake twice (or more)
The ancient Greek comedy writer Menander once said:
“Making the same mistake twice is not a trait of a wise person”
He definitely hit the spot with that one. What Menander basically claimed is that, to the extent you are aware you made a mistake, you should act to avoid its recurrence. But how do you know you actually committed one?
Easy, somebody tells you!
You probably noticed already: people are generally willing to point out other people’s wrongdoings. It’s an insatiable instinct that triggers someone’s urge to mention something blatantly or subtly wrong.
Why is that? Perhaps the other person wants to satisfy their pride and ego. They may be very attentive to detail and won’t resist verbally noticing (you know those grammar freaks, right?). Or they may do so out of compassion and care. I often find myself in the grammar freak category, so I know how that one works.
The last type of person is what you’d better be looking for. Why? Because they are likely to give unbiased, honest feedback in an unconditional manner. They may identify a mistake not in order to prove they are superior, but because they care. Those people want you to learn from your mishaps so that you don’t repeat them.
See family, close friends and relatives, a caring teacher or manager and so on.
They will want you to improve by giving you useful insight based in what they already know. It’s wise to listen to them carefully when they are eager to share.
3. Following the signs
Here’s an example from my personal life. My blog, Nous Universalis, is up and running since early 2019. I started consistently blogging relatively recently. I took my time postponing writing new posts, procrastinating, working on visuals instead of content. It has to look nice so that it attracts more readers, right? That was my approach for a while now.
Eventually, I wanted to ask around and get some valuable opinions from the blog’s readers. I needed a third party to help me re-calibrate and better direct my focus. It felt like I could do many things with this blog, but I would appreciate knowing this is the “best” or “right” thing to do. I still do, every day, and I don’t think this will go away anytime soon.
Impartial and genuine feedback has tremendous directive power. It can show you the way to where you are or should be headed. There is also the potential that it reveals a different way, approach or beneficial thought process.
I’m sure you know how it is when someone points something out that gave you an “aha” moment. It’s as if a whole new world reveals itself in front of your eyes. “How could I miss that detail?” is probably what comes on your mind at that moment. Such feedback can be transformative, especially if it comes in an unexpected fashion.
In short: Never dismiss the ideas and opinions of an objective observer of your actions and behavior. Especially if they sincerely want you to benefit from their input.
4. Gaining new knowledge
In addition to its revelatory nature, well-thought feedback has educational properties as well. If you think about it, the input we receive from others is the reason we have managed to survive and thrive in the first place.
Imagine what would happen if your teachers never added commentary on your homework. You only see your grade with bright red colors on a piece of paper or computer screen.
Why did you get this grade? How can you improve your performance next time? Why did you get a B instead of an A?
In this case, strike-through, comments or grade calculation details would constitute much-needed input. You would then be able to use that insight to gain knowledge on a craft, topic or skill. Ideally, the insight would come from an expert, someone who’s been there before. Someone who studied, experimented and failed so you don’t have to. And, of course, someone who is willing to share it with you to help you excel.
Moreover, this is how our society functioned, and still works to this day. Someone gains perspective around a topic they study or experience. They then share their findings with the world through feedback. It could be that someone could benefit from even the slightest contribution, so they share their secret. Or they reveal the method that works better, the method that gave them great results.
From that point onward, you have additional knowledge in your arsenal. Whether you use it, and how you do so, is up to you. In any case, feedback that is meaningful and well-intended offers a new perspective.
Grab it while you can!
Chasing views and perspectives
Going after constructive feedback is a mindset that we can all benefit from. It allows us to fail less and learn more. It helps put us in the right track, and instills valuable knowledge. Those advantages are relevant irrespective of context, too. Your partner could very well have some thoughts around how you spend your time together. Your manager is aware of a better, time-efficient way to perform your tasks. Your professor suggests a different expression method for your essays that she thinks suit your writing style better.
Hell, you can even ask yourself for feedback, if you have the courage and willingness to look for it.
Because of those benefits, I strongly advocate in favor of the active pursuit of feedback. Sometimes, people may provide it willingly, without you asking, especially if they have an obligation to do so. However, even if they don’t, this shouldn’t stop you from obtaining their feedback.
So go out there and ask for help and input from people who offer to support you. Think everything they say through. Assess it critically, and gauge whether it helps you given the circumstances. If it does, great! If not, try again!
Finally, to quote Charles Handy:
“To learn anything other than the stuff you find in books, you need to be able to experiment, to make mistakes, to accept feedback, and to try again. It doesn’t matter whether you are learning to ride a bike or starting a new career, the cycle of experiment, feedback, and new experiment is always there.”
Originally published at https://nousuniversalis.com on April 27, 2020.
