How That Girl Greta Ruined My Chances of Ever Being Friends with Mindy Kaling (and other friendship breakups)

I’m not famous. I’m not even a little bit famous. Okay, I’m famous in the kind of way that when I go home to Westville Nova Scotia (pop. 3628 according to the 2016 census) I bump into one of my former ballet students, who thinks I’m famous because I no longer live there, still perform, and look a little bit like Taylor Swift if our hair is exactly the same. To be famous in the eyes of an adoring child is actually pretty cool, but I have nothing to back it up with.

I also did spend some time on set of Showcase Networks, Call Me Fitz starring Jason Priestly, as an Irish Pub Waitress. Truthfully, I felt like my life was sending me signs that I was destined to be a waitress in an Irish Pub forever considering that was my actual job at the time, then I was cast for that role. Talk about type casting.

For the record, I currently live in Ireland. You be the judge.

Back to me not being famous. One might ask, how were you going to be friends with Mindy Kaling then? How was this meeting of brilliant minds going to happen?

You see, when I wholeheartedly believe in something it eventually falls into place. It astounds me that I haven’t figured this out for any negative thoughts as well and the whole self fulfilling prophecy thing. Working on it.

Mindy and I would be great friends. Just like Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Oprah and I would be great friends.

But…

That b#!?& Greta ruined her friend trust and now I’ll never have the chance!

That’s right, when I read Mindys second book “Why Not Me" I had to take a two hour break after reading about her friendship with Greta and how being dumped by a friend is way worse than being dumped by a man.

Fact.

Normally I speed through books I’m thoroughly enjoying. I once read the Thorn Birds when I was 11 in two days. As an adult I can’t believe my parents let me read that, but of course, didn’t understand all the implications. All I can say is steamy.

You see I get very attached to characters both in film and books and when something happens I disagree with or am upset with, I need time to digest.

Downton Abbey Spoiler Alert! Seriously if you haven’t see Seasons 1 and 2 by now that’s kind of on you. In Season 2 when Lady Sybil dies I think I went into a full fledged grieving process and slight depression. My roommate at the time and I watched it like a ritual up until that point where I told her for emotional reasons I needed a two week break from the show. I think I cried myself to sleep for at least five of those 14 days.

If I ever have a child I will call her Lady Sybil. Not just Sybil, Lady Sybil. Okay, that’s a bit much I’ll reserve that name for a beautiful puppy.

In any case I needed to mull over Mindys story and the implications that might hold for her in entering future female friendships. I came to the conclusion, having been through a few of these myself, that my chances are slim to none now. You see, just like romantic relationships once someone breaks the trust, is disloyal, and makes you question your value (happy to know I’m so disposable) that carries over to your future relationships.

When I first moved to Ireland I started working at a Stage School. I didn’t know many people and I admired the business acumen of the young woman who ran it. We became closer, attending theatre productions together, me helping her with her dance technique and covering classes when she needed, meeting for dinners and lunches and me admiring her organisational skills. It’s not easy to build a business from ground up and she had 200+ regular students.

My strength is in ballet and hers in vocals so we had a lot to learn from one another. When two of her students approached me about pursuing ballet more seriously I took them on for intensive training as it wasn’t offered at her school. They both remained students within her stage school as well.

She fired me with the explanation that for years her school was all they needed until I came along. What I heard was don’t you dare be better or more skilled at anything than I am or you’re gone. It was a real pity because we could have worked together and brought more success to her schools name and continued our friendship. I guess there’s that old ‘don’t mix business with pleasure thing’ but I think we have to support each other emotionally in business as well.

So that was a double whammy for me. Getting fired and losing a friend. Since then I’ve been super careful about my female friendships and have resorted to just staying in touch with my lifers back in Canada and sticking close to one cherished friend I met here, almost two years strong for us.

I’m very regretful how our previous experiences close the door a little bit tighter to people who come along in the future both in friendship and relationship. The right person will be patient enough to keep knocking instead of just inviting themselves in.

If I ever do meet Mindy, I kind of just want to chill eating ice cream, melted brie cheese, order takeout and watch Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Veep. Seriously, JLD, could she be even better? Okay okay, that’s it we would watch reruns of The New Advetures of Old Christine. Solid plan.

I’ll let you know if this ever comes to fruition.

Mindy, keep fighting the good fight. Sisterhood is worth it 💪

Until next time 🙏

ND.