Naomi Ramos Alicea
Jul 27, 2017 · 3 min read
I CRIED TODAY

Although I may look young..I am inside of an aging body..a body full of life, preparing it’s soul for death…no I am not morbid, nor am I depressed…BUT

Today, I cried…I cried because I miss my mom and dad, I miss my siblings…I miss my little nieces and nephews, who most have grown up and forgot all of the little things that used to make them giggle when they came to my house…

I miss my cousins..who were my very first friends. I miss the silly memories and silly things we did.

I miss climbing that big tree in my childhood years and singing with my cousin Gary like we were movie stars.

I miss chasing snakes and all the scars and scrapes on my knees that make me chuckle when I look at the faded wounds in my memories.

I miss hearing, mom..mom..mooooommm even when I wanted to throw a shoe across the room when they called me a dozen times a minute..

I miss laughing with old friends and crying with and at them. I miss buying a family pack of meat to make a feast..I miss singing in the car with the window open to all the pop songs my kids used to love. Today I cried…Because although all of that is gone and they are all fragments of my memories of my living years, I’m alive today and still have the ability to remember, to cherish and appreciate that once upon a time I had been blessed to have.

Today I cried…because I watch people suffering and hurting and they are so far away. Even those that are within miles of me..they are close, yet so far, because most don’t reach out for help because pride is blinding their need..

It hurts me to see young children act older and want to grow up so fast, just to enter the trap of adulthood, instead of creating milestones in their lives that they will regret never crossing…

I cry because marriages are breaking and friendships are tearing up. Gossip is easier to speak then to talk to a persons face. A telephone is obsolete and Facebook and social medias have replaced a simple hello on the other end of a ring of a phone.

Kids will never know how hard it was to have a choice between church shoes and play shoes…having “ coordinated outfits” is a must and never knew anything different. Breakfast is made into quick assessable wrapped bars…what ever happened to sitting at a table and reading a cereal box and actually fighting over who read it next??

I cried today, because lots of things are gone..the values I was raised with..the pride of working for what you want and need. I don’t know how to bring it back..I don’t know if it can even come back. So when I watch the news and see the catastrophic events happening in this world, How can I be surprised?? Why should I be surprised??

Today it hit me so hard..I don’t even know why…But I held my head down humbly and I just prayed…Lord..Please know that I will still keep trying, to instill your goodness in people, one by one, as long as they will listen as I go on..because my heart can’t take anymore pain..because I already suffered mine..I don’t want to watch others lives go in vain.

It was then that I realized that all I can do is try…

That is why today…I cried….

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