But it doesn’t have to be. I’ll explain…

But first: Wednesday morning, January 11, 2017, the country — the world really — witnessed what my grandmother would have politely called a “fucking nightmare of a shit show,” but which traditionally is called a “press conference,” by the man who is to become the next President of the United States in a little less than six days.

The presser was supposed to have been about how Trump was going to resolve the myriad of extensive and mysterious conflicts of interest presented by his allegedly (remember, we still haven’t seen a single tax return) massive, global business holdings. But of…


And even if it was — again, it wasn’t, but even if it was, Nixon would have lost anyway.

For the past couple of weeks, Donald Trump has been trying to divert attention away from the revelation that he is a misogynist and sexual predator by claiming that the evidence of this, or rather that the evidence of his misogyny and sexual predation coming to light, is evidence that the current presidential election is “rigged” against him. That massive voter fraud, coordinated and conducted by shadowy figures, beholden to Wall Street and “the international bankers,” with the tacit approval and involvement of the news media, the Clinton campaign and even certain members of his own party, will rob him…


AP Photo/Brynn Anderson

Trump will be gone, but what about his millions of angry, possibly violent, potentially armed followers?

Barring some historically unprecedented electoral miracle, Donald J. Trump is going to lose the 2016 presidential election. Bigly. Then what? Well, assuming he is like everybody else who ever ran for president and lost, he will spend some time soul searching and salving his wounds, probably in his office in Trump Tower or maybe on the links down at Mar-a-Lago. Then, no doubt, he will get back in his limo and resume his extraordinary, everyday life of licensing his family name for profit, promoting his golf courses and hotels, disrespecting his wife by ogling and making offensive comments about —…


“Have a seat.” She showed me to an empty, black, leather chair with a high back and chrome armrests at a small conference table just to the right of her desk. Another identical, empty chair stood on the opposite side of the table. “I hope the traffic getting here wasn’t too bad,” she said with a smile that didn’t rise above her cheekbones. “Can I get you anything? Water?” She was putting me at ease, getting me to relax. It was an old trick — trying to put me off guard with a casual, friendly air — that I knew…


If you’re thinking of voting for anybody other than Hillary, this is for you.

The 19th century French lawyer, diplomat, writer and philosopher, Joseph de Maistre, once wrote, “Toute nation a le gouvernement qu’elle mérite,” or: Every country has the government it deserves. De Maistre, in 1811, was writing about Russia’s new constitutional laws, but many would and have argued that this often-quoted (and usually misattributed) bit of political cynicism was less a philosophical critique than it was an anthropological observation concerning people and politics everywhere and for all time. That may or may not be true. And brighter, more educated minds than mine will continue to debate both sides of that argument. But…


I will be brief. I promise.

First, allow me to quote the founding document of this great nation of ours:

“A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

This is commonly referred to (and actually is) the second amendment to the Constitution of The United States.

Now, allow me to quote Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3 of this same, venerated document:

“Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according…


MARCH 19, 2016

FRONT PAGE

Because of an editing error, an article on Friday misidentified Ted Cruz as a member of the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations. While he is an insufferable dickhead, he is not a member of that committee. We regret the error.


In immediate reaction to the mass-shooting that occurred last night in Lafayette, Louisiana, I tweeted: “Seriously, fuck you if you believe your right to guns outweighs anybody’s right to live their life free from the fear of you and your guns.” And then I went to sleep.

I woke up this morning to just a few replies, thankfully. One of them, which I will quote here, is fairly representative of the opposition to my tweeted position on guns:

“umm no. I don’t trust the government enough to allow them to take our guns. …


A very short story about the perils of childhood

Los apestosos. The stinky ones. That’s what my mother called them. They weren’t really — at least I didn’t think so. They just smelled different. In my mother’s view of the world, smelling differently than she did meant that you stank. What she didn’t realize was that despite her zealous obsession with my brother’s and my cleanliness — which even involved perfuming our hair before combing it anytime we were to leave the house — we were actually considered the stinky ones by some of the other kids at school. All of that bathing and perfuming was always undone by…


Manufacturing panic can really take a toll on a person

CHICAGO – As the federal government moves to implement new guidelines for healthcare workers and other people arriving from West Africa and bring uniformity to the widely disparate policies initiated by states, one aspect of the so called “Ebola scare” is unfortunately being overlooked: the terrible toll it is taking on American television news personalities charged with the responsibility of maintaining a constant state of manufactured panic.

“It’s just terrible. The stress is wreaking havoc with my complexion,” said Tiffany Starr, evening anchor for the local news broadcast of station WNDY in Chicago, Illinois. …

N.R. Ramos

Writer | Adventurer | Exaggerator

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