Do You Know WHY We are Lonely?
Hi. I just fell across your entry (An Island), Chantelle Skye … and can, in my way, surely relate. As a Son of the Old South, I also view the world through romantic eyes. Yet, I am also sufficiently jaded (scared / beaten down) by both experience and direct observation that I’ve learned to seek a mid-point in my attachments to these things we loosely call ‘life’ and ‘lovers.’
All and all, the foundation of the world as we know it is not real. Or, better yet, not in sync with Truth. It is merely one isolated dimension which, having no insight to any other, we seek to define this as IT! And in this realm we do the best we can to delineate meaning and purpose from its prevailing roster of possibilities, do we not?
At one stage (youth) we believe this is a place of infinite opportunities; it is not. Because our energy, this life force, is both limited and fleeing. Ultimately we end up with three to five core concerns, primary associations, intellectual focal points. That leaves us without fifty billion or so other options! “Gee, I wish I really had become a fireman or fishmonger or sex worker in Paris…” I mean, who knows! And we spend a lot of time grieving over the roads not taken, the things we walked away from, the ‘what ifs…’
The same seems true with intimate relationships. The two most important people in my world are far away yet ever near to my soul. Their well being is a driving force for me, independent of all other factors. How nice it might be to do the ‘honey’ I’m home’ bit in the evening … but that is not reality. What is factual is the quality of the connection … the integrity of the bond. And just how far reaching we permit our capacity to unite, be it with a lover or the population of South Africa.
You, in my view, have a legitimate goal in seeking closeness with another being. But I wonder: do you know why?
There is a reason I suggest: a universal law as to what drives / governs that deep seated desire for oneness. In the world of physics there is a pneumonia known as ‘molecular cohesion” which I suggest you might research … because in a spiritual or metaphysical realm it is equally powerful. One can directly observe it on a rainy day just by standing at the window and watching the merger of two raindrops … bloop! … two becoming one. But it doesn't stop there. Nature seeks ever expanding unification and we, as part of nature, do equally so.
BUT, it is not a romantic inclination which draws the two drops together, Chantelle! It’s physics!! The water doesn’t give a damn about ‘love!” Any romance stuff would just get in the way and retard the forces of nature. And as you know, for us it often serves as a conditioned filter!
You and I are only as ‘alone’ as we elect to be. And we elect to be in the name of safety and privacy. So a bit of risk is essential while common sense must prevail: interaction, sure, but never surrender! Loneliness cannot be permitted to own us … in fact, this dark cloud vanishes into oblivion when only we step back and let it go.
Why? Because it is, when you stop and look at it, an illusion that some magical stranger can and will fill the void which only universal caring and compassion can meaningfully satiate. Peace is the objective, which is too often at war with passion. BUT it can sure feel exciting … until the planet implodes and we die screaming in the flames. (joke)
I’ve gotten carried away. Sorry. Just thoughts your poem gave rise to. I’ll shut up! You be well now! ned