Fuck you, with love.
Zelda Pinwheel

Say, sister, what’s UP!?! I was super excited / thrilled to see you throw a thanks my way. I spent 5 1/2 years in a cage you know way back in the 60's and 70’s and toward the end I had to make a choice, kill the snitch (go full bore criminal / ultra ‘fuck it’) or do the impossible, open my heart to the beauty we’ve discussed. I’ve come to understand that you don’t just make the decision and that that … no, you have renew your commitment and faith in beauty on a daily basis … and it is often exceptionally difficult. But often, too, when we least expect it, a child will smile at us, the rain will turn golden, or a hummingbird will come play chicken with your nose.

And I thought of you tonight as Frank and Nina (my rescued puppies) and I sat out on the dark screened porch and watched the valley flash with summer lighting across the hills and just gave myself to the dance of the fireflys. Not a few, actually hundreds!! Each one sending out a message to a potential mate: ‘here I am, right here, over here. Come love on me a bit!!’

This world is so incredibly quiet here at 4 AM, with exception of an occasional distant rumble and two barn owls conversing from opposing ends of this mile long crescent moon holler. They, too, are reaching out for union. It seems to always come back to that, even for ancient warriors who did battle all day, striving to return in body or spirit to a ‘nest’ in the heart of the night … a place of peace and comfort which, for a few brief moments, seems eternal. Even in the mist of war or lost in echos of isolation, one cannot abandon all things and let ‘fuck it’ own us. But then, you know that … I am merely striving to validate you and remind you that tonight, this instant, all is well. ned

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