nimra shehzadi
4 min readFeb 23, 2017

Factors affecting the child’s personality

How parenting and schooling affect the child’s personality

As a child begins a new life, he adopts new behaviors, new habits, and new ways of living and new ways of being from the environment. Here the first right of the child is that his needs must be fulfilled. Family and parents are the primary groups for the child. He learns behavior from them and tries to imitate them. According to “Kurt Cobain” journal;

I use bits and pieces of others personalities to form my own”.

So for him, the family is the first place of learning for him. If the parents bring them according to ethical principle then it results in positive personality, because the personality of the child develops in first five years of his age. That why the parents must treat their children nicely, create confidence in children, give them the decision making, otherwise, they always depend on their parents later in life and it inculcates in their personality.AS “ Bruce Lee” says;

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for successful personality and duplicate it”.

Many children who face violence, abuse, alcoholism, neglect and poverty, these factors that affect their personality and their results appear in the form of psychological disorders. Children who lose the joys of childhood due to the effect of extreme poverty. Due to all these situations, a negative trait develops in their personalities. They become aggressive, selfish and try to satisfy their needs by fair or unfair means even by harming others.

Now the early childhood starts which is 3 to 8 years.For most of the children it is an exciting time of positive growth and development but for some(estimates range as high as 25% to 40%).In this period children pass through cognitive changes, as well as changes in the social surroundings where children daily live.

Schooling plays an important role in the development of personality. It is a time of declining motivation, mental, health, and involvement of schools and organized activity programs. Now the school is the best place of self-grooming and to identify their hidden abilities and skills. The children who confront with challenging tasks of academics confidently result in confident personality later in life.

During middle childhood, children develop a sense of self-esteem and individuality, comparing with their peers. Children who feel competent, those who experience early learning difficulties in school have a positive attitude towards learning.Their exposure increases and enhances cognitive skills. Social-emotional skills help children to persist on challenging tasks, to effectively seek help when they need it and to be thoughtful in their actions.

Unlike the other children who face poor adjustment in schools result in depression and social isolation more than other peers, the level of anger and aggression heighten in their behavior. Frequent feelings of frustration and incompetence in academics and develop a negative pattern of adaptation towards schooling. They have low self-confidence and self-esteem and have no meaning in life and in some cases they try to attempt suicide.In such situation, a child needs a therapist, who check his academic performance, interpersonal relationships, work on behavior improvement, enhance their self-esteem, work to change their thoughts, remove the point of neglect from his mind and try to move him back towards normality.So “Albert Einstein” explains the personality development like that;

“The personality that finally emerges is largely formed by the environment in which a man happens to find himself during his development by the structure of the society in which he grows up, by the traditions of that society, and by its appraisal of particular types of behavior.”

Now the important is that how to avoid us from these problems or how to cure these issues, HERE are some tips to improve the personality of a child for parents;

Focus on positives: Always think positively and learn their children to think about positive things that are true, pure, noble and admirable.

Be honest with your child: Listen to your child’s concerns. This will give him a sense of importance and boost his confidence .always be sincere with your child.

Don’t labelize your child: Labeling your child is probably the worst thing you could do. This is wrong, even if you’re comparing him to someone who’s a good person. Allow your child to express his own personality. Do not limit him to behave in a particular way.

Learn to compromise and teach your child to do the same: If you don’t learn their children compromise, then they try to fulfill their all unfair wishes and id impulses become high in their trait, they become stubborn and selfish.

Accept that parenting requires some self-sacrifice: Pay close attention to your child’s activities and interests. Keep track of the new things he learns. If your child requires more attention from parents than others then not neglect him and properly attend him.

Give them positive punishments to improve their behaviors: Punishment doesn’t have to be abusive or violent.

Appreciate them on good deeds.

These are some guidelines which can be followed to remove child’s personality, or to avoid him from personality conflicts and abnormal behaviors. Moreover, over protection of child or extra care also results in stubborn behavior in a child, so deal with him moderately.