You Know, I Hope

It’s not the rays of sunshine I’m chasing

It’s the sunshine in the smiles

I don’t search for a new place to call my home

I search for a someone

I forget that plans wreck me

But give me the structure of sanity

I don’t miss the views

I miss sharing them

I’m not proving anything to anyone

if I’m not proving it to myself

Circumstances are circumstantial

until they lock you up

Simplicity is what I want

that’s not the order of the day

Stand taller, be stronger

show people what you’re made of

sometimes I think I can change the world

but my biggest impact will come when I die

I’m not chasing the end

or even wanting death

I just so desperately

want people to know

that all I ever care about is them

and that they are doing okay

but I have to distract myself

to make something of myself

when all I want is to breathe

at the end of the day

and not have my chest tie me up in knots

and fight with the words in my head

death is rest

but it is cowardice

I am not afraid to stand

to fight

to live

but sometimes the voices

of the others are low

and I can’t hear their struggle

their pain

their life

it’s fine

I’m fine