OkCupid’s questions aren’t ableist, sexist, racist, or homophobic — its users are

U.K. based organization Mencap, a leading voice and advocate for those with learning disabilities, recently launched a petition and Twitter campaign against OkCupid, which allows its users to answer a question they find offensive.

The question: “Would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce?”

Without delving too deeply into the way the dating site works, OkCupid users are allowed skip this question or answer yes or no if they desire.

Mencap, and other users of their hashtag, #NotOKCupid, are demanding that the question be removed from the site and that OkCupid issue an apology.

“I am very upset that OkCupid could ask a question about whether people with a learning disability should be allowed to have children,” says Mencap spokesperson Amy Clarke, who has a learning disability.

“This is not ok. It is shocking and offensive. By asking the question, they are making it seem like it is ok to say yes, which it is not.”

I disagree.

Is this question provocative and potentially inflammatory? Sure. But the question itself isn’t the problem: the answer is.

The question in…question has been on OkCupid for years, and may not have even been created by their staff. In the past, users were able to create their own match questions for site-wide use.

I strongly suspect that many of the people who are outraged over this question have never used the site, and don’t understand: No one is required to answer any of the questions the site suggests. Your motivation to answer any one question is to be able to see the way others have answered that same question, to learn more about how they think and act, and determine compatibility.

Again: You can always choose if and how you want to answer a question on the site.

If anything, people should be glad there’s a way to weed out ableist assholes.

Mencap’s spokesperson went on to say, “If they had asked the same question about people of different races or sexuality there would be outrage and it should be the same for people with a learning disability.”

In fact, there are plenty of non-PC questions about race and sexuality on OkCupid, and I have yet to hear the outrage.

Questions about race, sexuality, and other hot-button topics on OkCupid are among the most useful they offer — much more so than the popular, “Do you like scary movies?”

Questions about whether race or gender is associated with intelligence. Questions about whether it’s ok for a homosexual friend of your same gender to hug you. Questions about whether women should be allowed to talk about their sex lives. Real deal breaker material.

As a black woman who struggles with discriminatory dating realities on a daily basis, I’m not angry about those questions: I’m happy to answer them. And when I see the profile of an attractive man who answers those questions in a sexist or racist manner, I move on and avoid him — because he is a jerk, and we aren’t compatible. The same should go for any other group that feels marginalized. You’re better off knowing what they really think.

So while I can empathize with Mencap and their allies, their outrage is misplaced. That question, upsetting as it may be, is far more valuable answered than eradicated.