Why are Americans so worried about politics at the Thanksgiving table?
The past couple years, I’ve noticed an increasing amount of articles, television parodies and social media posts about how to avoid politically contentious Thanksgivings. I did a screenshot of a Google search while typing this and there was no shortage of “advice” on how to handle my extended family and friends.
My tipping point was listening to Leonard Lopate on WNYC interview bon appetit’s Andrew Knowlton two days ago. The segment is entitled, “For Thanksgiving, Ditch the Family” and gives anecdotes on the rise of “Friendsgivings,” which aren’t necessarily intended to replace Thanksgiving, but sometimes do. Saturday Night Live most notably had their Adele Thanksgiving sketch which confronted the awkwardness of multi-generations at the Thanksgiving table.
While it may be refreshing for some to know they aren’t the only ones with loose lipped drunk uncles, I see it as a further polarization of red-blue state, boomer-millennial America.
Why are we so scared when political conversation comes up with people who we love, have had close childhood bonds with or are related by blood? There have already been studies on how our social networks are increasingly segregated. Can’t we have one day where we’re not surrounding ourselves with “yes people?”
Maybe it’s because I’m a teacher and do encourage classroom debates. I’m also an only child. Our Thanksgivings were usually small. The chances that I got to travel to distant relatives’ houses were a beautiful change of pace.
There was a string of years that I found myself in Scranton, Pennsylvania, one where I was talking guns and hunting with the Thanksgiving table. I’m politically liberal and abhor guns and hunting. The host, a conservative friend of my father’s, gave me two large take-home bags of venison jerky that he made himself after a hunt. His response, “Doesn’t get more organic than that.”
My wife, a twin, who has a much larger immediate and extended family doesn’t like the politicking at the dinner table. Maybe people are just tired of it overall; I did have some uncomfortable conversations arise in Scranton, but nothing that couldn’t be solved with another drink or piece of pie from the fridge, especially if it was a homemade recipe. If you don’t like the conversation, have we lost the ability to deftly change the subject?
The friends of my father’s aren’t doing so well health-wise and I was wishing I could have made it up with the family this year. How did we get to the point that Thanksgiving became a day of stress for all, outside of the person who’s cooking?
I wonder how much of this environment is similiar to the incidents we’re witnessing on college campuses. The Internet is allowing us to vent about it, and so now it’s a “thing.” We’ve already been shutting off our social networks from people who don’t agree with us. Shutting off our tables would be a tragic closing of the American mind that I hope we can overcome for a couple hours, one day a year. And if you don’t agree with me, that’s OK. I am still extremely thankful you read until the end and hope wherever you were on Thursday, that it was an enjoyable experience overall.
