Random III

Unbraiding my 7 year old cousin’s hair on a random Saturday afternoon, we had a conversation about one of the most offset topics I would ever wish to engage in with a child — sex. It reaffirms my belief that children know way more than we give them credit for. Heck, you think these guys sit down to discuss Barbie and Frozen all the time in conversations with their peers?


My increasing dependence on sensitivity analysis and simulations in my everyday life has really helped to cope with one of my biggest no-go areas — engaging conversations, which I eventually zone out to admire my work if I successfully engage 2 or more people in it.


If there is one thing I love about my work, it is the peace and quiet that comes along with it, and it is easier because my colleagues and I understand each other. No silence is awkward. You unlock that level in whatever relationship you’re in, you have arrived.


There is something about Surulere that triggers enclophobic panic attacks in me. First was TEDxSurulere (April) then the mall there (July), just when I thought I had it under control. I hate the sadness that the relapse brings; the extra consciousness that comes along with where I go and what I do.


Attended an audit breakfast conference in April and I had the most overwhelming experience. I have been overwhelmed by many things growing up (beauty, architecture, even the first time I went up Union Bank’s building (first time I used a lift and was in a floor that high up (26th floor, i think), but nothing else comes close yet to being sorrounded, eating and chatting with an FMCG CEO, a Bank Chairman, a Bank CFO, and the COO of an Oil firm. (lol really said chatting as if I did anything but sit in their midst dumb and motionless). Given my background, this is such a big deal for me. All I kept thinking was, these men can destroy thousands of lives with just a phone call, but here they are, chatting and eating like ordinary people.” Here’s to more positive overwhelming experiences.


I have not seen my mother for over a year now 😔 and I miss her very much. Looking forward to our hug when I do see her this week.


I had a very ugly experience with someone who paid me to get a job done, and it reminds me of this post.

I am too passionate about whatever I do and always demand explanations whenever a client bins my idea and expects me to go with his (especially if they expressly permitted you to go with your ideas), but if Nigerian clients do not frustrate you in the process while being rude, are they really Nigerians? Fathermerry summarised the whole rant thing for me in that post (especially points 4 & 5) so I better stop before I start crying.

All the same, I’ve learnt my lessons.


My cousins (who I have been living with for almost a year now) both came back with awards for being the best overall in their respective classes, and I did not flinch (despite the celebrations in the house). This is not a case of being inwardly happy or sad; I am not surprised and I feel so bad right now for not feeling anything. This is not the first time and I could trace this to my upbringing — my parents were never surprised whenever I did something extraordinary, so there were usually little or no celeberations, but were always there for whenever I failed at anything (and I grew up not seeing anything wrong with it). I am guilty of the same thing and I am beginning to feel bad about it, especially now I’m getting more and more involved with different people. I do not want to pretend, and I don’t want people to feel bad because I did not react the way they expected me to. Guess I will have to pick one and go with it.

P. S. I downplay my successes just so people won’t overreact. It has no effect on me (none that I know of)


What conversations do you engage in when your friend is hurting? You know sorry is not enough but you can’t stop saying it each time you talk to each other. Conversations are not normal anymore inasmuch as you think you are trying to make it less awkward. You want your friend back but powerless to make that happen. Silently, patiently waiting for something good from her end.

***

Here’s Random and Random II

Nsuaha.

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