4 STEPS TO RESOLVING INTERNAL CONFLICTS
One reason some never separate a fight is because of the experience of taking some of the blows. I got my share lately when I went to separate (not a fight but a beating) of a boy by an older guy whom I later discovered was drunk. I decided to separate because the boy was crying but stood still for the beating. Who knows maybe the both were drunk. 😂 😂 😂
I got a blow from the older guy just an inch to my left eye. Though a weak blow obviously from his lack of energy as the alcohol had sapped them all. I would have landed in the hospital should the blow hit straight on my eye. I’ve learnt my lesson. From now I will separate fights from afar. 😂 😂 😂
But there is this fight we all must separate and we must not do that from afar. It's the fight between our conscious and subconscious mind.
Just imagine, that the older but drunk guy is your subconscious, because in reality, your subconscious is like 9 times bigger (in terms of what it can do simultaneously as well as the amount of brain resources it uses) than your conscious mind. Also, naturally the subconscious mind is always drunk with negative and limiting thoughts and beliefs prevalent in most societies.
Now imagine also that your small conscious mind just like that little boy is the most stubborn part of every human. It does not just yield to others. It does not budge when ordered. Take for example, take up a pen and say to your mind, do not think about this pen, then see what happens. The reality again is, it’s this little conscious mind that’s the boss of the duo, at least from the time you are old enough to make decisions. The conscious mind is the only thing with which human can control the subconscious mind. But because the subconscious mind is big and can do too many things at the same time, it usually feels it’s the boss.
These two are constantly fighting. They both are yours and if you don’t separate their fight, you suffer. To separate the fight between these two.
1. Call for a meeting.
At this point, let me make it clear that you are neither your conscious nor subconscious mind. You are also not your body either - the one who suffers more from the fight. You are a spirit soul.
Before you can get your subconscious attend this meeting, you must put your body including your conscious mind in a very relaxed mood. At this mood, the conscious mind can’t dominant the meeting which it will always want to. You can easily reach this mood just as you are about sleeping especially after an hectic day or when you just woke up particularly at midnight. Another way you can get into this relaxed mood is by going into what psychologist call the ALPHA state.
2. State the Agenda.
Imagine them sitting separately then tell them why you called for the meeting. Tell them you have noticed for long how they keep fighting and that you can no longer condone it. And that you want to settle their differences once and for all.
Remind them you own the both of them so they are obliged to listen to you and do what you say. Remind them that they both live in the same house - your body. Tell them that as long as the house they reside remains, they cannot be separated. Therefore, it will be in the best interest of all including the house they work together.
3. Acknowledge their efforts.
It is not wise to correct anyone in your household without also acknowledging their contributions to the family. So appreciate the both of them.
Tell the boss that you are grateful to him that he never allowed so many issues crop up into the house - your body, since doing so will make the house overwhelmed and subsequently fall sick. Tell him how useful he is to you whenever you become emotional. Though he usually gives way, but he is always at hand to bring in reasons why you should not act in those moments. Let him know too that even when you act, that it was not because he didn’t do his job but because you have not really learn to listen to him in those moments. At this point, apologies for not always listening to him when you’re emotional and promise to listen to him more.
Now face your subconscious and let him know he’s being doing a wonderful job of keeping your memory for you ever since you were formed in the womb. Tell him how his record keeping ability has not allowed you go AWOL. Tell him how he has always recall and make available information you need to do your own work and how he has really help your house stay today by supplying to the brain the much needed stimuli for the brain to send the right neuron to the part of the house in need. Then apologies to him how you have inadvertently with disregard for the boss send negative and limiting information to him over the years especially when you were emotional. Tell him that now that you know he accepts any information you send to him whether positive or negative, you are now ready to start sending only positive and empowering information.
4. Settle the rift.
Now start by talking to the subconscious mind. Tell him that the boss in the house is the conscious mind. Tell him that though the boss is not always right but he knows better. Tell him that though the boss may be slow at reaching decisions, that the slowness does not mean the decisions are not always good. Tell him that his judgement on what to do at any time is not usually the best. Because he only judge base on the data with the highest emotion which of course is usually not scrutinised by the boss. Tell him that those emotional data were sent by you ignoring the opinion of the boss. Then tell him to from henceforth, obey the boss.
Now face your conscious mind and tell him that the subconscious mind now agrees to obey him but he must not see that as a right but privilege. That he did so for the sake of common good. Tell him to focus only on good, positive and empowering thoughts alone. Because whatever he thinks on is what the subconscious will attempt to fulfil and because it’s in the power of the subconscious mind to fulfil desires, he will work at fulfilling whatever he thinks.
Tell him him to think of how to provide solutions to personal challenges and the problems of humanity. Tell him to stop trying to multitask - think of more than one thing at a time, as this is not in the place of his strength but that of the subconscious. Tell him that when he does this, the subconscious becomes jealous, confused and then rebels, ensuing a fight. Then tell him to prod you harder whenever you become emotional. Finally, promise him you will handle your emotions from henceforth.
In conclusion, note that you must ensure you work hard at calling up pleasant, and appealing dreams and desires to the conscious mind. This way you are giving him something good to work on. The nature of the change you desire depends especially on what dreams you always bring to the table.
Do not expect this change to happen overnight, for it requires effort and time. Whenever a fight ensues, call for another meeting and settle any rift. Keep doing this as the first and subsequent meetings may have missed some issues.
When you successfully settle the fight within, you will begin to have peace of mind, become happier and your circumstances will begin to change for the better.