This birthday didn’t quite turn out as I had expected. The plan was to have my family meet me this weekend up here in Chicago, where I work during the week, so we could do many fun, family things together:

This report is 100% true. All the facts were found in my head. By providing “related” facts throughout this article, I earnestly hope that you will confuse correlation with causation and believe what I’m saying, making Fox and Breitbart…