The Derek Fisher Theory

I hope you came here for a Derek Fisher admiration piece. What you’re about to read is somewhere between a Lakers fan’s jerkoff session and a basketball obituary.

The Derek Fisher Theory: As long as Fisher is in the NBA, the Lakers will not win a Finals unless he’s the starting point guard.

When you hear it for the first time, it seems a bit dramatic. Most people assume the Lakers five championships this century were mainly because of Kobe, Shaq and Phil Jackson. Those people aren’t wrong. That’s just not the entire truth.

The Derek Fisher Theory was conceived towards the end of the Smush Parker Era, when it dawned upon me that there was no check on Kobe Bryant’s dictatorship. Shaq, gone. Horry, gone. Smush, present. Most importantly: Fisher, gone.

So around that time, I developed and began sharing the Theory with my fellow 12-year-old friends.

The Proof

Here’s the theory I’ve laid out countless times to people who don’t care nearly as much as I do (Hey! Welcome to the club!) …

2000–2002 … The Lakers 3-peat.

Starting PG: Derek Fisher.

My sports viewing memory goes back to sometime just before the 2001 historic playoff run, when we went 15–1. Losing was just something other teams did. Think about the (positive) effect that had on an impressionable kid with a #8 jersey on.

It’s safe to say that those teams were the reason basketball became my favorite sport — to watch, to play, and to think about. Through the television, Fisher taught me how to be a point guard.

2003 … Lakers lose in the conference finals.

Starting PG: Fisher

I have to be honest here, I don’t remember being eliminated by the Spurs. I was 9 years old, so I give myself a pass.

What’s memorable though is the offseason leading up to 2004: a crucial year and a half for the Derek Fisher Theory. The Lakers acquired Karl Malone and Gary Payton in the offseason. WHAAAT? That would be like the Warriors going out this offseason and signing Carmelo to start in place of Harrison Barnes. Flashy, but wildly idiotic.

2004 … Swept by Detroit in the NBA Finals.

Starting PG: Gary Payton.

Payton, whether on talent or name recognition alone, started at point. Terrible for chemistry. Fisher was great at realizing when a possession needed to be run through either Kobe and Shaq.

The most dangerous of our triangles consisted of Fisher acting as a spot-up shooter from the corner, while Shaq posted and Kobe was on the wing.

When we got swept by the Pistons, it hurt, but only a little. It was more unfamiliar than anything. We’d be back next year. And probably the year after that. That’s just how it was.

Oh, and on July 15, one day after Shaq was traded to Miami, Derek Fisher signed with Golden State. Coincidence? I’ll go with no.

2005–2007 … Three straight seasons of irrelevance.

Starting PGs: Chucky Atkins (82 games), Smush Parker (162 games), Jordan Farmar (2 games)

I could not make sense of what was happening. Watching Kobe score 35 points every time they were on TV was entertaining, but I really wanted wins.

The Derek Fisher Theory became obvious.

2008–2010 … Two parades in three years.

Starting PG: Derek Fisher

“After re-acquiring Derek Fisher, Los Angeles started the 2007–08 season with a 25–11 record,” according to some dude who spent time editing the Lakers’ Wikipedia page. That quote is from the beginning of a section titled, “Return to championship form.”

On the brink of wasting the end of Kobe’s prime or letting another organization have our centerpiece, we brought Fisher home. This set off a magical chain reaction, which included Pau Gasol, Metta World Peace, Kobe embracing a leadership role, and two more championships.

Per usual, Fisher made clutch shots and had the trust of Kobe.

If you’re counting, from 2000–2010, Derek Fisher was the starting point guard for seven seasons and they won the title five times. Kobe and Phil Jackson were there all ten of those seasons. Shaq won three in five seasons (still unbelievable, but not five).

I’m not claiming that Fisher was the most valuable player on any of those teams, but five in seven years is legendary, and none of those hall of famers got a title in L.A. without him starting at point.

Even more than a decade after they were drafted just 11 spots apart in the 1996 NBA Draft, Fisher was the perfect backcourt mate for the most ineligible superstar bachelor I have ever supported. Sideline reporters recounting stories about Fish and Kobe playing full-court games of 1-on-1 after practices still gives me all the feels, and points to the mutual respect level they built.

2011 … Swept by the Mavericks in the second round.

Starting PG: Fisher

We struggled with Chris Paul in the first round. I type “Chris Paul” and not “the Hornets” because he was the only reason that series went six games.

However, we were allegedly one of those mythical teams that’s believed to be able to “turn it on when we really wanted to.” (Side note: when the media is saying that kind of thing about your team during the first round of the playoffs, be worried. It’s the playoffs! It’s fucking time to turn it on!)

We never turned it on. If Chris Paul was unbelievable in the first round, then JJ Barea was just, well here’s the truth… Andrew Bynum decked him with a forearm that was about the size of Barea’s leg in game 4 of that sweep. Everybody claimed they were upset with Bynum’s lack of sportsmanship. It wasn’t cool, and I was silent when it happened. But, I wasn’t mad at you, Bynum. On the inside, I was happy to see it.

But, this isn’t a timeline about the Lakers. This is a timeline about Fisher’s role with the Lakers. Chris Paul and JJ fucking Barea torching the Lakers was confirmation that Fish couldn’t defend athletic point guards, and the West was full of them.

2012–2013 … The Dwight Howard and Steve Nash years.

Starting PGs: Steve Nash and Steve Blake

Derek Fisher was traded for Jordan Hill. Steve Nash acts as his eventual replacement. The Lakers also brought in Dwight Howard.

This three stretch was an elongated version of 2004, when Payton was brought on to start for Fisher.

2014 … Fisher retires from playing in the NBA. Only to reunite with Phil as coach of the New York Knicks.

Starting PG: It doesn’t matter at this point.

Yesterday … Fisher was fired by the Knicks.

Starting PG: Still doesn’t matter.

Fisher the Coach

I wish 2014 was the end of the timeline, but that’s yet to be seen. The mere existence of Fisher the Coach has challenged this theory.

You may be wondering, “Why?”

Sure, Fisher cannot be the starting point guard for the Lakers any longer, but he can still contribute to another team. The Derek Fisher Theory: As long as Fisher is in the NBA, the Lakers will not win a Finals unless he’s the starting point guard.

Until yesterday, he was “in the NBA.”

This specific wording has become vague, and I cannot figure it out myself.

When he retired from playing, the weight was lifted. However, he couldn’t even take a single year off. C’mon man. When news broke that he was reuniting with Phil in New York, I didn’t know what to make of it. Still don’t.

(If you couldn’t tell by now, I seriously believe this theory to be true. Gary Payton and the return in 2008 are just too much evidence. So when Fisher became coach for the Knicks, I struggled with it. Furthermore, the Lakers having the worst two-year stretch in franchise history doesn’t falsify the conspiracy.)

The only positive aspect of him being a coach is that it keeps the theory alive. Just so when I talk about it people still know who Derek Fisher is.

Except for a brief few weeks in the summer of 2014, this is the only time in my life (that I can remember anyway) that Fish hasn’t been “in the NBA.” Does this mean the Lakers are going to run the table and win the Finals this season? Hell no. But, hopefully it means that he stays out of the Association and we can start the process towards banner number 17. (By the way, if we start witnessing real improvement for the Lakers, and win a title in the next 3–5 years, I’ll be sorta spooked. Fate creeps me out. Of course this scenario will be derailed when Fisher becomes Tyronn Lue’s assistant in Cleveland. Just called it.)

Another scenario: What if he becomes the Lakers head coach? Again, I don’t even know. I’m guessing that would be a good thing.

Matter of fact, Fisher becoming the Lakers head coach next season is my favorite possible outcome. After all, he’s my all-time favorite athlete.

Of course, I’m talking about a world where he becomes a quality head coach. Not the Knicks guy, who goes 40–96 with a roster and organization that’s better than the current Lakers one. Because the end of that story is him being fired after two seasons due to an inability to develop our somewhat promising talent.

I suppose you’ll have to check back in a decade or so to get the follow up on how Fisher the Coach will affect the longevity of this theory. My hope: It remains true, and he wins literally another handful of rings as the Lakers head coach.