Earlier this week I stumbled across a keynote address by Tina Knowles, mother of Beyoncé. I have to say, it’s fantastic.

Miss Tina (also the name of one of her clothing lines) delivered the speech at the Texas Women’s Empowerment Foundation’s eighth annual Women & Money luncheon in Houston earlier this month. In it, she spoke so candidly and with such vulnerability it was hard not to feel moved by her words.

I get the sense that Tina has a very high EQ. She seems to know exactly what she’s feeling and is unafraid to express it. She opened her talk by saying she’s not a great speaker. There is something so powerful about being honest about who you are, what you’re good at and what you’re not. Her vulnerability at the outset, and throughout the speech, created an instant connection with a woman I knew very little about before today. The ability to do this actually makes her a great speaker.

The theme of her speech was about how the experiences we encounter in our lives – adversity as well as positive things – are gifts and in fact tools to prepare us for the future. These tools are then there for us, waiting in our tool boxes, throughout the rest of our life for whenever we need them. A pattern she shared that she’s seen her life:

“There had to be turmoil, there had to be something caused me to have to change, to get up and do what I know that I needed to do.”

She very openly shares that her marriage was tough from the very beginning and was tumultuous throughout the 33 years. Her story illustrates that real life happens to everyone. As she states, everyone suffers from times of low self-esteem,

“It doesn’t matter who you are, what you are, what you’ve done, what you look like, what you have, you’re a person a human being and when something strikes you like that, it takes the breath out of you.”

A pattern I spotted in Tina’s life is that when real life hits, she reframes her thinking and creates something positive from it.

The trouble she faced in her marriage woke her up and led her to do something for herself and get her cosmetology license. She got emotional when she talked about the impact of her hair salon because it gave her the opportunity to make women feel good. To have lived half her life in unhappiness, it says a lot about the woman she is as she chose to focus on others during her own rough periods.

There’s another point Miss Tina brings up that I think is so important for people today to be aware of – the idea of getting lost in work. I’m the daughter of immigrants so I get and value tremendously the idea of a strong work ethic. But what Tina shares in her speech is what can happen to your soul and your spirit if you forget to take care of yourself. Her lesson: opportunities that come along can sometimes not be the best thing if you need to take care of yourself.

Again, Tina’s reframe on this situation (and the divorce) is what got her through this time.

She had “a selfish moment” where she did all the things that bring her joy outside of work: reading art books, traveling, visiting museums, spending time laughing with friends. Before she knew it, she says, “I started being important again.”

After hearing the story of Tina’s life, it becomes very clear that it is the backdrop for the message her eldest daughter shares loudest with the world – women are strong, independent and have endless power. Tina closes by sharing

“My daughter wrote a song called Survivor some years ago and it’s my favorite song by them because it says, ‘you know when the times get bad, I’m gonna work harder. And I’mma keep pushing. And I’m going to be positive and I’m gonna make it happen because I’m a survivor.’ That’s been the story of my life.”

Watch the 30 minute speech here:

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