Things Dudes Have Said to Me After Sex
Catherine Cohen

Him: Does it hurt?
Her: Oh, is it in?

I think it’s interesting how many people are obsessing on the “how many dudes” aspect. What does it matter how many dudes it was?

Overall, the writer gave so little information about her situation — just the list of things that the dudes said. She didn’t say whether she was in a relationship with any of the aforementioned dudes. The didn’t say how many times she had sex with each dude or if the things said were over the course of multiple sexual encounters with one or more dudes. She didn’t say if any of the dudes were paying for her services, or if she was paying for theirs. She didn’t say if any of the dudes were there are the same time. Yet people still found a way to judge!

And the advice aspect is funny too. Sounds so much like: “You’re a nice girl, stop sexing random dudes, find a nice dude who loves you, get married, have some babies!” Sorry, that approach doesn’t mean that you’re going to hear more romantic and profound things after sex. It just means that the funny or stupid or unbelievable lines will all be from the same dude. Although that would definitely make some of the commenters a little happier. The Joy of Monogamy!

Personally, I’m impressed that these dudes actually said anything after sex. I’ve always heard that most dudes are likely to just say “ZzzzZzzzZzzz.”

Thanks Catherine, I enjoyed this.