The 5 Stages of DIY Grief

Fear.

Excitement.

Anger.

Commitment.

Uh oh.

These are the five stages of DIY Home Improvement projects.

I wrote recently about finally facing the fear of addressing a water collection issue underneath a second story outdoor balcony that had been nagging me for fifteen years.

Once I got a handle on the reality of what I was facing, which was not as bad as the nightmare scenario I had been building in my mind over that long time period, I found myself excited to tackle the project. The second phase kicked in: Excitement.

My dad was a skilled handyman around our house. He taught me a few things. This was now my chance to challenge myself and put my knowledge into action and skills to the test.

Then I faced another big challenge: Anger. I was suddenly overcome with anger at myself for letting this go so long. How could I have done this? This was neglect. I simply refused to address the problem.

Mixed with anger, I found myself experiencing an emotion I hadn’t experienced in a long time: Shame. I was ashamed of myself. Yuck.

The fear dissipated quickly and excitement came on at the speed of a locomotive. Anger and shame, well, they linger.

Commitment is the fuel that keeps the engine moving. Anger and shame are lengthening the consist, adding weight and nuisance to the project, and no value…