I´m not sure if i want people “following” me 24/7. It´s creepy as hell.
We´ve become one big stalking nation. I can´t say when i realized that. Maybe a few mornings ago, taking a piss, half asleep, Iphone in my hand.
I remembered -maybe i was dreaming- It Follows. The horror movie.
Then i made the connection: social media is like this any-person-any-shape monster, mutating, behind you all the time, breathing too close from your neck, back and ass. Don´t want anything or anyone breathing near my ass.
Facebook: thousands of friends i don´t want. Instagram: entities asking me to read their DMs…and they are not even followers. Snapchat: My so-called-friends can follow me from the app anywhere i go. Now they can have a big laugh every Friday when i go home at 7 pm.
Life used to be soo different: when i went out, nobody knew what i was doing. Not even my parents. Buy records, check on a girl i liked, good old underage drinking. When walking from school to grandma´s, i could´ve been murdered and thrown into a dumpster. I had three friends. It was different. So un-connected and, frankly, kind of weird. Liked that.
Nowadays, there are thousands of profiles following me. I wish i could stretch all of their hands. Take a look at all those hands. Maybe feel their hands and say, ok, all the rough skins and bitten nails, out of my network.
Or maybe have sex with one of them -the actual people, not their hands. Although i´m pretty pretty sure a brave new friend request will arrive five minutes after i cum. It is what it is. These days, whatever i do, he-she-it will follow again.