It hurts to act like i dont care. It hurts to act like im not sad. It hurts to tell that it doesnt bother. When it all does.
I always be that one girl, who always give you space whenever you need it, who always welcome you whenever you back from your journey. I always puts your feelings more than mine, dont want you to get hurt. I always respect your choice, even it hurts me. I can breaks the rules as long as youre happy. Dont put pity on me, im happy to do that. Or I was happy. Now im questioning, i really wanna ask you, is it not enough to make you stay and not suddenly pissed me off whenever something “hit” you?
I mean I have feelings too. I dont understand. Im confused. You know I love you, and I never be able to abandon someone I love, no one be able to abandon someone they love. But you said you love me, and then abandon me. Do you really love me or you just wanna satisfy me by saying that words? You make me feel so loved one day, and make me think i was nothing another day. I realized now that sometimes, love is nothing but something fucking painful.
I hope you know how hard it is to stay busy, so i dont have to think about texting you. I hope you know how hard it is to hold myself not to tell you I love you, eventho i wanna say it so badly. I hope you know how hard it is to tell I miss you, and you dont even give a single word and juts let it pass. It’s all hard, and it hurts.
Ah yess, im a good actress, im really good to pretend that everything is fine, that im not hurt. When it feels like a sharp knife stabbed on my heart.
I have never begged someone to stay in my life, but i was swallowing my pride to said that to you. Even now i would say please to you. I want this to work. But it seems so hard now.
This shit broke me. Watching you slowly losing interest in me. Watching you start sending me dry texts. You, someone who always send warming texts that melts my heart, now became so cold, and I can only love you in silence in distance. If leaving you can bring you happines, i will do it. But is it what you really want? You forced me to slowly close a chapter i never wanted to end. Yeah i always say, i wont give up. But it seems like you forced me to….
