Helping someone in need is all it takes to stop cowards
A few months ago I experienced an Islamophobic incident where I was assaulted and my headscarf/hijab was ripped off. I do not want to go into great details as it will do me more harm than good right now. I do however want to spend some time to share the emotions, feelings and how this has been affecting me recently.
My hijab visibly identifies me as a Muslim woman. You can spot me a mile off because of my hijab and the various colours I wear. Its also a reflection of my personality. Loud. Bubbly. Laughing. Always smiling. For those who know me and have spent time with me can vouch for me on that front.
I wear my my hijab proudly. My hijab is my obedience to my faith and my Lord. It has never restricted me from achieving my goals and dreams. I have never allowed it to be an obstacle for me. It has not stopped me from pursuing my academia, nor progressing my career. It is a source of incredible strength for me. It allows me to present my personality in ways nothing else can. It is a symbol of the perfect balance between my faith, living as a Brit and being a Londoner.
My hijab has however prevented me from climbing the career ladder for example due to how others perceive me and my hijab. It has attracted unwanted attention both in and out of work. It has caused me to face alot of discrimination. It has been a reason why there is a glass ceiling for women like me. I am a woman. An ethnic and I am a Muslim. Truth be told it has also caused me alot of embarrassing moments like everyone in a meeting room thinking I’m the secretary there to take notes and then realising I am their boss.
Despite all the negatives and challenges I persevered, I continued the struggle, soldiered on and I overcame many obstacles. Why? Well simply put because I know my abilities, am aware of my skills and experiences, I am damn good at what I do. I am amazing and nothing will stop me from achieving and living my dreams. Additionally my hijab and faith gives me the opportunity to educate others that I am no different to anyone else.
I explained all this so for those who read this get an idea of the importance of my faith and my hijab. Now imagine:
- That you are being assaulted by two cowards, intimidating you, and having to hear the most vile verbal abuse.
- As you are trying to get away from the cowards they grab your hijab from the back.
- These cowards yank my hijab so hard that your entire hijab rips off your head.
- Rips the material.
- Your hijab pins fly everywhere.
- You feel your head is going to fly off due to the excessive force used.
- You part choke and cough to grasp some air.
- Your world comes to a complete stop momentarily and your mouth dries up from the pit of our stomach right up to the tip of your tongue.
- All your thoughts run around in your head at 200 mph as you think what the hell is going on here.
- You can not tell if its tears or your nose running down your face.
- Then like some automatic reflex when you realise your head is no longer covered, your hands and fingers tries to find a piece of whats remaining of your hijab and wrap it around your head.
Out of all the Islamophobic incidents I have suffered over the years this was the worse.
In the past I have suffered many Islamophobic incidents ranging from being violently beaten, being mugged, had things thrown at me, being spat at,suffered verbal abuse, been urinated on, had dog faeces rubbed in my face to even an attempt to run me over with a car.
But when my hijab was ripped off that felt far worse then what I listed above. I suddenly felt naked. I felt my honour was ripped away from me. I felt my privacy was invaded and someone had stolen a part of me. I later noticed how painful the marks were on my neck due to the yanking of my hijab.
I eventually managed to get home and was forced to make use of the Bobby Brown foundation that was sitting idle in my draw for a while as I had to apply the make up to cover the marks. So no one noticed. I did this everyday until the marks left. I still do not have the heart to tell my mum what happened as it will break her heart.
It upsets me even whilst typing this when I think of how no one actually helped me. No one. Nor was anyone willing to help me. Everyone acted like nothing happened. And that was the next worse part of this incident.
I fear getting on the tube now. I panic. I get anxious. Its not the reason I want to be using Uber alot more by avoiding trains.
This week I braved the tube again and although I completely freaked out, I will continue to keep trying to overcome my fears. I need to overcome this fear because I can not and will not allow these cowards to win.
As I work through this, all I can say is if you ever see anyone being harmed physically or verbally:
- please do not sit by pretending it is not happening;
- please intervene if its safe to. If not then go get help;
- please provide a statement when the incident is reported.
Your one act of helping someone in need is all it takes to stop cowards behaving in such a way.
#bringbackhumanity
Love and Peace
