Take benefit of five before five
We have a saying ‘take advantage of five before five’:
- Your youth before your old age;
- Your health before your illness;
- Your wealth before your times of poverty;
- Your spare time before you get busy; and
- Your life before your death.
I have learnt the hard way on all these points which is what I wanted to share today.
Your youth before your old age: I started to work since the age of 16 as soon as my dad passed away. We as a family learnt very quickly that no dad meant no money and no money means no friends.
I had to start working whilst still at college as we had no money and since then I have been working. 20 years on from that age because I put myself through so much to be able to provide for my family, there are many days where I feel 20 years older than I actually am.
I did not get a chance to enjoy my childhood. Nor my adolescence. As soon as I got back on my feet after living rough on the streets and completing university I had to work even harder as I learnt yet again that the world is not a nice place. I married young and that marriage forced me to mature even further as I took on more responsibilities. It took me a long time but I started to realise just how much I didn't do and how many of my dreams I put on the back burner. Since then I am however making up for it.
Lesson Learnt: Do not give up your dream for anyone. It will not make you happy. The moment you begin to feel you have to in any relationship; then that relationship needs to be re-evaluated. If you were in a similar position as me and you are lucky enough to have the opportunity to go chase your dreams now.. then do not wait around. Go grab it with both hands.
Your health before your illness: Due to working so hard all the time, always putting others first and giving them a higher priority over myself, working every hour humanely possible — I forgot to look after my health. As a result I have health issues now.
I had to work every hour possible just to make enough money to buy food and pay bills whilst my mum was too sick to be aware of what was going on after my dad passing. I had two younger sisters to raise and my older brothers were not on the scene. I have no extended family whom I could reach out to. So I learnt to do what I knew best; get on with things.
My health took a serious beating when I was only 18 and it was the year when Mr Blair abolished university grants and I had to try to save the £1200 tuition fees. I took a gap year to be able to afford to go university. So I had to work 4 jobs to get that money saved in between providing for the family.
- I worked a 35 hours per week in a bank business centre.
- I cleaned toilets for a few hours each morning and evening. Before and after the bank job.
- Thursday and Friday nights I worked as a hotel night receptionist and
- Saturdays and Sundays I worked 12 hour shifts at a local mini mart called Cost Cutter in East London.
After 10 months I collapsed and then hospitalised for exhaustion
Lesson Learnt: I have now learnt to give me and my health a priority. I have now made it a priority. I would encourage everyone to develop healthy coping mechanisms and learn to balance those important areas of your life.
Your wealth before your times of poverty: This hits home for me as I constantly remind myself of where I was and where I am now. The best period in my life that serves as a reminder is when I was homeless for 15 months. I had nothing to my name except for the backpack I owned with a few personal belongings in it.
I have eaten out of bins in the streets, licking and eating leftovers. The longest I have been without food was 4 days. I had to use newspapers and bits of material to use as sanitary pads when I was on my periods because I was never able to afford to buy any. I would fast on the days I could not afford to buy anything to eat or drink. I used to console myself that if I fast then it will help make the hunger bangs easier.
Lesson Learnt: Always appreciate what you have today as tomorrow it all could go away. Do not become arrogant and appreciate that everyone is only 3 pay checks away from being homeless.
Your spare time before you get busy: Working like a donkey for all hours meant there was no ‘me’ time. I was always too busy for everyone. I lost many good people in my life because I was never able to give them any time. I had forgotten how it felt to sit and do nothing. Having and making time for reflection is absolutely critical in my faith and my belief as it draws you near to your Creator. The aim of reflecting is so that we can appreciate what we have/don’t have. We can appreciate nature and those around us.
Lesson Learnt: Since making ‘me’ time I have noticed a positive change in myself. Anyone who has learnt the importance of making time to sit and reflect will say how beneficial it has been for them. So incorporate your ‘me’ time into your schedules.
Your life before your death: I have had two near death experiences in the past 24 months.
- First incident was when I was holidaying in Sharm el Sheikh and me and my friend were trapped in a room at the spa and the sauna caught fire.
- The second was when I went to visit Bangladesh with my mum and as I was on the roof of a 2 storey construction and as I was coming down the stairs I fell off the side of the stairs and went straight down. I was lucky my body didn’t break/snap in half and only suffered minor injuries.
Lesson Learnt: Never take life for granted. I learnt that it wasn't my time to go yet however I took this to mean I have another chance at life. To make life what I want it to be. I almost felt it was a sign from above telling me to make everything I do count. To make sure I spend my time wisely, with quality people and refocus on what I spend my time on. To appreciate those in your life and it reinforced what I already believe in which is everything happens for a reason.
Love and Peace
