How to train your brain into a new consciousness
Do you feel stuck in a certain mindset? Do you find yourself thinking in the same negative thought patterns, telling yourself the same ‘stories’ to deal with your life? Maybe you are so used to thinking in a certain way to adapt and survive, that you don’t even let yourself relax in new situations.
I know you are thinking right now, “I can’t really afford to relax in social settings, romantic settings, or work settings, because I need to protect and defend myself, to make the best impression, to say the right things, to entertain and please those around me.”
But what happens when those people leave and when the party is over… When you go home and you realize that you spent all that effort the whole day and night, worrying and analyzing, or feeling bitter towards people, what then?
First off, if you’ve already read this far, then you can follow along. You can either recognize these thought patterns in yourself, that seem to be taking over more than usual lately, or maybe you can point out these ways of thinking in someone close to you, a friend or family member.
I want to share a very practical exercise that I learned from a very wise Rebbetzin, that I met while traveling through Israel in 2013. A Rebbetzin is a Rabbi’s wife. Many Rebbetzins hold a lot of sacred wisdom- much like their counterparts, and often teach educational classes to young jewish scholars.
“Listen up closely,” she said, “because I have some very important words…”
Take 3 deep breaths, close your eyes, and imagine in front of you, a woman, about 5'3 feet tall, wearing a majestic royal purple scarf wrapped around her head, taking your chin in her warm hands and…
“Repeat after me:
(Part 1) I am not in control.
(Part 2) God is in control.**
(Part 3) I am strong and confident.” ***
*Keep part 1 the same.
**Part 2: If you are someone who feels uncomfortable with the word or concept of God, then choose another word to replace that- to each his own (mother nature, buddha, etc).
***Part 3: Choose whatever phrase or sentence that resonates with you, something that you are trying to become, or something that makes you feel empowered, for the purpose of this exercise.
Did you come up with your 3 part mantra?
Now, set your alarm to the same time every day. When the alarm goes off, say this mantra, and meditate on it for a few moments. The first day that your alarm goes off, after you say your new mantra, you will feel good afterwards. It does feel good to remember and remind ourselves that, we aren’t in control, that something else has a greater control. Greater control over the parts of our lives that we don’t like, didn’t expect, can’t cope with. And even in those moments when we feel pissed or annoyed or bitter, we can choose to not care (as much). Only then, can we let our guard down and be able to relax, and enjoy ourselves. Even if it is only for that minute or two after you say the mantra.
However, on the second day, and then the third day, when your alarm goes off and you say the mantra, what happens is, you begin to memorize those phrases. By the time the fourth and fifth day come along, you are actually already anticipating the alarm going off and start to think about your mantra, before your alarm goes off.
Can you see what’s happening here, day by day? You actually have started to train your brain into a new consciousness. As you navigate through your work and social media jam packed day, while consistently reminding yourself that you are not in control, you will start to notice yourself changing.
And trust me when I tell you that this exercise works. Try it for a week. Reserve 1 minute per day and set an alarm on your phone right now. Create your personalized mantra. You deserve to relax and free your trapped mind from anxiety. Controlling everything in life takes too much responsibility- let go of this responsibility. Do you feel lighter?
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Emily is a California Board-Certified Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner who specializes in mental health infused with laughter, beauty, and holistic treatment. She provides medication management and psychotherapy throughout the Greater Los Angeles area. Originating from the east coast, her academic training includes The Penn State University and University of Maryland. Her clinical experience includes The Johns Hopkins Hospital, The University of Maryland, The Sheppard Pratt Health System, The Complete Wellness, Stanford Hospital, Westside Community Services, and Artemis Institute for Clinical Research. Emily lives in Venice Beach, California with her husband and mini dachshund named Henry.
