Choose Your Battles Carefully(Pt. II)

This is the 2nd part in the short story series.
For Part I, check out: https://medium.com/@nv.vishnukiran00/choosing-your-battles-carefully-pt-i-ccfc23484c0

Rings of Smoke

A visible suspension of dust particles was permeating throughout the room. They formed a perfect circle and traveled all the way to the wall on the other side before crashing and colliding into it.

The rings of smoke emanated from a rolled sheet of translucent paper stuffed with tobacco and miscellaneous substances. This object was perched neatly between Arihant’s index and the flipping-the-bird finger. Usual routine.

Hoarse coughs.

Repeated coughing.

Pranav gulped his thoughts “This guy never listens to me” down quickly not to offend his companion all the while broadcasting his prayers in every direction.

Cough. Cough.

The raspy noise sounded doubled. It could have been the echo in the enclosed area but it almost sounded as if there were two people coughing.

Only now did Pranav notice a similar paper butt present between his own fingers and then, it all came rushing back.

He had disappointed his father and himself by securing runner-up position in the Speech Competition. Again. In addition, he suffered a loss in millions from his stock investments and got kicked out of his band for no apparent reason. He was performing better than anybody else and was a PR sweetheart being the pretty-boy on the band posters. His sweetheart abandoned him and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was just correlation or was there a causation effect in play here. In the deepest, darkest corners of his mind there was a gentle whisper “Look at the monumental failure that you are. No wonder she left you. She deserves better than to be with a loser”.

Without hesitation, these thoughts were shut up and locked up instinctively.

“Ahh mann, I miss her. I miss her so much, Arihant.”

“I feel like my entire life is crumbling.”

“It’s okay, man. Everybody goes through a shitty phase in life. Sometimes, life is just unfair. Maybe you don’t deserve to go through all this. Maybe none of us do. But this phase is the one which is gonna teach us the most crucial lessons in life”

The good thing about hitting rock bottom, there’s only one way left to go and that’s UP

Usually, Pranav would have juiced up listening to such motivational, inspirational quotes but the quote flowed swiftly through the other ear. He was too sad to say anything at all.

“Why are you so silent man? Say something bro. What are you thinking?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything. Anything at all”.

“My life sucks. I feel like I fucked up life. I am a colossal failure.”

“No wonder she left me. I miss her so much dude.”

“She left me even after I did so many things for her. Am I that disposable? Now, I don’t know if I will ever find anyone. ”

“Do you remember that night when that hottie approached you at the club not even a week ago? You are an insanely hot, attractive dude. Don’t worry yaar. You’ll get chicks left and right”.

“Maybe I should have gone out with that banger of a woman. Maybe I would have had an amazing time. Maybe we would have been perfect for each other. I did notice how she subtly slipped salsa into her passionate steps imitating those couple. Salsa could have been the common interest we bonded over”.

This reminded him of Madhav and his monologue. Pranav couldn’t encage his mind from contemplating that successful hunk. Maybe there was some truth to his wisdom. After all, as Arihant had mentioned, he did seem successful in some ways — He owned a fancy car, a stunning connection with his partner, the looks, if not an influencer level but still a decent physique.

That was a thought to mull over later. He wanted to exhaust this roll and light up the next one.

The Lesson

Recovery was in progress.

Pranav had disappeared off the face of the planet for a week and his concerned parents were not able to reach him through his cellular phone. Even Arihant, who is usually the target of Pranav’s concern and pity, started worrying about Pranav. My overachieving stud who never even touched the green leaves of heaven despite being constantly surrounded by it due to his proximity with me was now laying his hands on substances that I would never ever lay my hands on.

Post invasion by his parents, months of recovery, and psychological therapy, Pranav was regaining his sanity. He was initially bombarded with probing directed at why he had gone rogue but no-one including his own brother could understand the meaning behind his response “My life sucks. I am a nobody in every field in this world. Nothing is going right in my life. I just suck at life”. For some reason, his therapist got obsessed over the last sentence and based 4 of their bi-weekly sessions on that particular sentence but the cause slowly dawned on him.

“Life is not a Subway Surfers game where you compare the high score accomplished by each individual and rate and rank them. You seem to have this inherent notion of leading a better life than others, always prone to weighing up with the people around you”

“Comparison is the thief of joy. There is no right way to live. There is no hierarchy between people. For some, life is about money; for some it’s about success in their career/professional field; for some it’s happiness; for others it’s about peace. There are a million different criterias based on which each individual optimizes their life for. Hell, loads of individuals while time away chasing the ultimate meaning of life and the perfect goal”

I know your experience might have taught you a different narrative but I want you to engrave this in that smarty pants brain of yours. There will always be someone better than you. There will always be someone who’s richer, a guy who’s a better football player, a musician who can play 4 instruments at the same time still way better than what you can manage, a public speaker way more captivating than your best speech. There will always be someone better than you in everything. You got that?”

Pranav took a moment to process that. It hit him hard that he could never really be the best in anything. After all, he had been the best in almost everything in his school/locality/college/company. Drops of tears were dripping down his spotless face. All this was too depressing to handle.

“Except one”.

Perhaps, every cloud has a silver lining. The excitement pervading him was palpable.

…

….

…..

……

…….

“Come on. Let it out. What are you waiting for?”.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this? I might have overloaded you in today’s session because of my belief in your brilliant mind. It could be a lot for you to handle.”

“I need to know this. I want to get started on mastering that element right now. It might finally be a goal worth pursuing, a cause, a target. This might be all the motivation that I needed.”

Despite his repeated pleas and struggles, the therapist firmly refused to reveal the secret.

“You little piece of shit. You minted money from my parents this long for nothing? Why do you have to do this to me? As if my life isn’t miserable enough”.

All good things must come to an end.
You can find the final section of the story here: https://medium.com/@nv.vishnukiran00/choose-your-battles-carefully-pt-iii-bb4872a4616f