Memory Keepers

Nicole Rivera

I think I was happy

I think I was loved

Proof of such claims

Is fading

Who are my memory keepers?

The deceased

The estranged

The quiet distant ones

The pictures

The videos

The journals lost in the flood

Memories cling weakly

to my imagination,

twisting themselves up into fanciful sounding fictions.

I become doubtful of a life previously lived.

I envy you, dear reader, who has holiday tables

filled round with memory keepers —

those with whom you can debate truths out loud.

Each argument had,

each audible replay

fills colors into your mind’s memory film,

constantly remastering the memory reels in your head,

while my worn film continues to fade.

My worn film continues to bubble under the hot bulbs

and tangle in the reels.

What does this low quality film say of the memories within?

Does the happiness of that childhood degrade with neglect?

Or can I cling to feelings without film and know my memories are true?

Even when there’s no one left to help me keep them.

Nicole Rivera

Written by

I’m a writer, podcaster, and mom from Staten Island, NY. Find my latest episodes at https://stopwritingalone.com/ or join the Stop Writing Alone community on FB

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