hello and what are oranges???

people all the time talk to me,

they say “holden, you seem like a cultured individual! please tell me what an orange is and what i might do with it.”

to those unfortunate cretins i say this — an orange is a round fruit that you can eat raw. it is sort of bitter, but also mostly sweet. it is a little bit bumpy. you have to take the skin off of it before you can put it in your mouth, because the skin does not taste good.

also an orange will get bruised if you drop it, so please try not to do that. i think they grow on trees? i think i saw a picture of that once. yeah, totally. they for sure grow on a tree.

so there you have it.

that’s everything you really need to know about oranges.

oh wait sometimes people make juice out of them! that’s a thing too. it’s good — i like to drink that at breakfast sometimes if i remember to buy it at the grocery store. i don’t always get it though, it’s not like a staple grocery store purchase for me.

mostly i just get eggs and like, whatever vegetables look good.

anyways thanks for your time. please go eat an orange. it’s weird that you haven’t done that before.

it’s a pretty common fruit.

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