This thing called LOVE.
When I say I love you, I don’t just say the words because they sound nice. I say it because I mean it and I usually mean what I say. But what does it really mean when I say that? It means a ton of things, my darling. The extent of it staggers my very existence. Here, let me help you understand:
- Loving you is a first of all, a choice. I understand there is a lot of hullabaloo about the butterflies in the tummy and-oh-so amazing chemistry but beyond all that lies the very powerful choice of loving you. It means that I chose to love you regardless of the circumstances. Like a thermostat, regardless of what cards life might dealing you at that time, my love remains the same. When you annoy me and trust me, you would, when you are ill, when you are scared and confused, when you are cranky and irritable, when you confuse the pants of me by saying one thing and meaning another but expect me to “magically” know which you meant each time, when you rant about your body changes even when we both know there isn't much you or I can do about it, when you look amazingly beautiful, when you don't not feel beautiful and when you do not look beautiful at all because nobody looks beautiful all the time, when you are happy or sad, rich or broke, employed or Jobless, I chose to love you beyond all that. It feels like a prison i am condemning myself to and I feel very vulnerable because I am not sure what you would do with all that power over me at your disposal but it is the choice I have made. Fidelity is a choice, so is love. I have chosen to love you. Period.
- Love is the silly smile that creeps on my face with I think about you, it's the anger I feel when someone tries to hurt you and/or take advantage of you, it's the frustration I feel when I think you are not taking advantage of the opportunities available to you at the time, it's the sacrifices I make for you both the ones I tell you and the ones I never talk about, it's the prayers I pray for you even more than myself sometimes, it's the chemistry between us the makes the world look at us with jealousy, it's the way we play as giddy teenagers just experiencing love for the first time, it's the way i feel about you as though my heart would burst, its the crazy feeling in my heart of wanting to travel the world with you and forget about everything else behind, its me coming home to you when all my friends are hitting the clubs, movies or hanging out and i could have easily gone with them, it's me deliberately refusing to see that movie with my friends at the cinema even though I could but I’d rather wait, come home and see it with you, it's cooking that meal the way you like it even though I prefer it the other way my mum used to make it, it's me overlooking how you press the toothpaste at the middle even though I like it from the bottom, it's me sleeping with the lights on because you like it even though I prefer them off, it's me sleeping without a pillow because you have stomach ache and have to use the only pillow under your tummy. It's all those little things that actually doesn't matter but somehow, eventually, they do.
- What is love without correction? It is running stomach and toothache from eating too much sugar. You must understand my darling that love simply cannot exist without correction. It is impossible. How then does correction fit into love? It is correcting you in love when you are wrong, patiently but determinedly. It is letting you have your way sometimes so you can learn the lessons better. It is holding your hand through life’s unfriendly roads. It is listening without being overbearing and biased, it's allowing you to make your own mistakes and giving you room to grow. Love is letting you fall but being there to catch you when you fall. Love is putting you to bed with with a goodnight kiss even though we just had an heated argument and are currently not speaking to each other. It’s me apologizing first even when you were wrong just for the sake of peace and making you smile. It is giving up some things just so you have room to grow and become the best version of you.