My name is Lacey Roberts. I am married to Drew Roberts who writes for OBNUG. I had the opportunity to read this and I am truly blessed to have done so. I don’t think sorry will suffice for your loss, but what you have gone through has been hell.
I too am Mormon and my life and family doesn’t quite fit the blue print. The fact is that many of us have a lot of inner dialogue that those at church might scoff at I have come to believe it is fairly normal. I’m impressed that you continue to pursue your relationship with God even when it seems so backwards at times and comments have been made so haphazardly about where your father is or will be, or what the outcome will be for your “forever family”. Truth, God only knows our hearts and this is not black and white, which I am sure you have realized.
It is miraculous what having a kids can do to our hearts and that is where He gets us and He knew all along. I tip my hat to you sir for trying to be a good father and facing you fears head on. God bless you, your wife, and Penny.