September Rain

photo from internet

This summer is so special.
It is because that there are two Chinese lunar calendar 7th months in this 2006.
 Therefore, we have two Chinese Valentine’s Day.

The first Chinese Valentine’s Day,
you can celebrate the sweet time once again with your lover. 
The second Chinese Valentine’s Day, 
you remembered your ex-lovers.

It is the second Valentine’s Day that I received “ONE” of my ex-boyfriend’s phone call that we broke up three years ago. He called me just because he wanted to say sorry for all arguments made us breake up. He wanted to say sorry to me that he never meant to hurt me that way three years ago.

Our love started in a summer, and when we broke up, it’s also a summer season. I believe that what can represent our love is summer. Our passion of love was like the sunlight of summer — so glaring, I feel dazed. The heat of the summer sunlight gave me a little pain but made me more eager. The peace that when we love each other like the night of summer: fresh and warm. Our passion to want to occupy each other and the way we are jealous, therefore, we got angry and crazy easily, just like the thunder shower in a summer afternoon. However, when the rain stopped, the happy hour of summer sunny day is once again. Yes, we are lovers in summer.

Unfortunately, we have the disagreements that always forced us to the road of break-up. I named it “typhoon”. It occurred for some unanticipated reasons, but it grew up to a destructive power to destroy our love. The damage is uncountable and unrecoverable. That is the moment that we truly separated from “a couple” into “2 “persons. After that year, I stuck in the moment of summer. I couldn’t tell the difference between these seasons, I have no idea about to love or not to love. Although I never have counted the days that had passed by since our break-up, I stayed on the original point of the summer season of 2003.

Back to the second Chinese Valentine’s Day’s phone call. 
His “Sorry” is the evidence that to witness the typhoon really destroy our love. But, so what, the damage is unrecoverable and evidence cannot let us back to the moment before and we don’t love each other any more. The fact is the guy behind the phone does not love me any more. The feeling of love between us is gone.

The court of love pronounced the adjudgment to me:

”Carol Lai, 
the reason of your break-up is really unfair to you. It is very very poor that you lose the guy you loved and you time is wasted. But you still need to move on.”

When I woke up and saw the calendar on the wall, it is September 3rd 2006 already. It starts to rain outside. The rain in September ‘s really different from summer. I ‘m’ walking in the street with an umbrella open in my hand. I experience the September rain : it feels a little cold and become a little bit heavy. I go through my thoughts of 3 years from 2003 to 2006. The rain clean my thought and it rains become very heavy. In the mean while, I can totally understand that the summer of pass years has gone already. All of a suddent, I found that I have been step out of the original point of love. I am on the road of the future whether I have love or not. I say goodbye to that Carol in summer 2003…

goodbye

goodbyegoodbye

goodbyegoodbyegoodbye

And,

the

rain

stopped.

by Carol, 
Sep., 2006

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