How to control your stress and profit out of it

Some insights from the Gene Keys and my own

I’ve heard a lot about stress. Every time I hear the word, I remember 2 things.

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

The first one is a funny moment between me and one of my friends, who’s also a coach and taught me a lot. We heard someone saying they’re so stressed and they want to avoid stress as much as possible.

So, I remember saying to him: „Stress? There was a time I knew this word. It carried a great importance and heaviness. Somehow, on the way, I forgot the meaning of it. What do you think stress means?”

My friend: „Oh, it’s a word used to describe something that people think is normal to have because they never thought they can live their life without”.

The second thing I remember about stress it the 52nd Gene Key. The Gene Keys are the most awesome system I’ve met that really teach you what your life is about and how to make it better! And there are 64 distinct Gene Keys. I’ve worked with the Gene Keys for some time now.

I’ll just tell you the Gene Key keywords regarding stress: Stress — Restraint — Stillness. (In this order: The Shadow, The Gift and The Siddhi)

As with everything, one of the first steps in profiting from something is understanding how it works.

I won’t get into scientific details, you can find a lot of information on the internet about it.

Stress is an effect to the fight or flight response. As an evolutionary role, this response helped us survive as a species.

Imagine you’re in prehistoric times and you come face to face with a hungry lion, preparing to attack you.

Photo by Nashad Abdu on Unsplash

The choice was simple: prepare your spear and fight it or prepare your feet to run for your life. This response helped us chose between this 2 options as fast as we could, because every second was crucial for survival.

Let’s say you choose option 1: fight the hungry lion. You grip your spear tightly, your body muscles contract and you prepare to charge the lion. Of course, the encounter is short, whether you manage to wound or kill the lion, it ends fast. The moment the encounter ends, you start feeling angry, even coming down into rage. Anger fuels you and gives you strength to carry on!

Ok. Delete that image.

Let’s say you chose option 2: run away from the hungry lion. You turn around faster than you thought possible, and start to run for your life.

You run, and run, and run, with the lion hot on your trails. In a flash of a moment, you get to jump and climb high into a tree, where the lion can’t get to you. He circles the tree a few times, then leaves, looking for another piece of meat for lunch.

At the same moment you relax, fear grips in. You start feeling fear, wondering what would’ve happened if you got eaten, fearing dying slowly in an excruciating pain.

Ok. Delete that image. This is mainly how the „fight or flight” response works. In a split-second, your brain chooses between fighting something or fleeing from it. This response works if a bus is coming straight for you in the middle of the street or when you get in a fight with someone.

I’m sure you can relate to it. This response it’s something all humans have.

What’s the fight of flight response got to do with stress? It’s how stress is generated. This response activates itself when you feel threatened, no matter if it concerns your life or not having the latest iPhone.

Stress is generated because the fight or flight response is activated multiple times throughout a day. The problem is that this response is designed to work when our life is in danger. Because we don’t have any other kind of response, every so called threat face each day is perceived by our brain as life-threatening.

There is a catch here though: you feel anger and/ or fear AFTER the event finished happening. You don’t feel anger or fear when you’re threatened. You feel it after you get to safety.

Only after you fought of fled from the lion and you were safe, you started feeling anger and/or fear. Only after you finished fighting with someone or after you got away from the bus coming toward you, you started feeling anger and/or fear.
Hope this picture’s design makes you remember it’s content.

So this means one VERY IMPORTANT THING: The moment you actually feel anger or fear, you are, in fact, SAFE. There is nothing happening in that moments, because our body allows us to feel any emotion only when we are safe.

Let’s recap: Plain and simple- whenever you feel stressed, you are actually safe and you’re not threatened by anything in that moment.

The first step in controlling your stress is this: Become aware that if you’re feeling stressed, you are, in fact, safe in that moments.

This is an ongoing practice. In this way, you can turn anger into passion for following your heart and fear into safety, by understanding whatever it is you fear. Anything you fear can be understood. And the moment you truly understand it, you stop fearing it.

Now, you might be wondering something like „But Octa, if when I feel stressed, I’m actually safe, what’s the point of feeling stress anyways?”

You feel the stress so you can profit from it! Stress is like a bell for „time to make your life better”.

Basically, you feel stress when it’s time to improve the very aspect you’re stressed about.

So, being actually safe, you need to shift your focus, from the problem you are stressing about, to the solution you are happy about :D

Remember the half full/half empty glass? Depends on where’s your focus :)
There are 2 major ways of shifting your focus:

1. If you feel stuck and you somehow feel you are letting yourself down or not doing anything productive, shift your perspective to answering this question: „How can I be of service to others, in a valuable way, for all the parties involved?”.

Feeling stuck is a way of repressing stress and not using it’s beautiful energy, the passion of being in offering something valuable through your efforts.

I also recommend you Mel Robbins’ „5 second rule” for this way. You have the link below.

2. If you feel restless, like you’re doing anything else but what you know you should be doing, you’re somehow reacting to stress. This is a specific way of facing your fears. Instead of doing whatever it is you’re doing to escape or to run away from something, ask yourself „What is the fear that makes me feel restless and what do I need to understand about it?”.

Feeling restless is a way of reacting to stress (instead of facing it) and you’re not using the amazing ability transform fear into safety, by taking your time to understand what you are fearing.

What do I mean by understanding? I mean getting information, knowledge about that subject, studying it and shifting your focus in alignment with your newly discovered information.

So, how to profit form stress? Whenever you feel stress, you may focus on giving something valuable to others or understanding the underlying fear that makes you feel stress.

Now, you realize why stress is such a valuable emotion? And to think most of the world tries to get rid of it!

If you want to know more about your Gene Keys profile, you are interested in shifting your life or want to live a stress-free life, you can find me at octavian.bolocan@gmail.com.