Introversion from a software developer’s glasses
Do you ever feel drained out after attending functions full of strangers, whereas for other people it’s way to chill out? Or do you wonder why certain people act weird in the crowd? I think I managed to get a precise answer to such questions through this book by Susan Cain - Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
Because introverts are too introvert(!!) to talk about how they feel, they are often misunderstood. But as a consultant we have to deal with different personalities — clients as well as team members. It is very important aspect to be considered when we talk of team building or team-work. So, let’s deep dive about this ‘I’ word which is not often discussed and see what the author has to say about it.
How we shape our life is driven by the single most important aspect of personality — the ‘“north and south of temperament” — is where we fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. It defines how we make conversations, resolve differences, what career we choose, how likely we are to exercise, learn from our mistakes, place big bets in the stock, how much sleep do we need to function properly…!!
As per some studies, one third to one half of people are introverts, which means one out of every two or three people you know. This number might seem shocking, but the fact is, there are many introvert people around us wearing a mask of an extrovert personality to fit themselves in their surroundings. So even if you are not an introvert, you are surely raising, managing, working with, married to, or coupled with one.
What is this introversion by the way? It’s more about brain and not about characteristics. It’s not just about outside behaviour, it is more about patterns of thinking, feeling, and sensitivity. Introverts prefer lower amount of (social or any other) stimulation whereas extroverts need higher amount of stimulation in order to function efficiently. For example, introverts would prefer to have coffee with a small group of friends instead of throwing themselves into any large group of parties. They might feel emotionally drained or exhausted after attending a party full of strangers, but for extroverts it may actually charge them. That does not mean that introverts are anti-social, it’s just that they are differently social. They would prefer to have sincere conversations over small talk. They would think before they speak. They are not serious either, they would laugh/joke as much as others if they are in the environment they like. And yes, introverts love solitude as it recharges them!
Shy, fearful, calm, soft spoken… There are more chances that theses characteristics are found in introverts, but not necessarily all introverts have all of them. Human personality is much more complex. In fact, there are calm extroverts, anxious extroverts, calm introverts, anxious introverts. You can be a shy extrovert, or a non-shy introvert, like Bill Gates, who keeps to himself but is unfazed by opinions of others. It’s possible to be shy-and-courageous or quiet-and-great-negotiator. Surprisingly, some introverts love public speaking or performing, and plenty of extroverts have stage fright, as public speaking phobia is not an inborn temperament and can be conquered. But certainly, there is a difference in the way every personality type approaches it. Introverts tend to do more preparation, organisation, like think about every word beforehand and tend to be more emphatic to the crowd.
Today we live in the culture of personality. The word ‘personality’ didn’t even exist in the 18th century. It was more important how a person behaves in private than in front of public. This rise of ‘Extrovert Ideal’ philosophy began in the 20th century, when people started to migrate to cities and deal with the strangers instead of dealing with the neighbours they grew up with. Suddenly people became more aware about personality, how others perceive them and then there was a rise of wanting charismatic personality. Does that mean introverts need to change themselves? Probably not, otherwise introversion should have been extinct as humans evolved! We need introverts for what they can do because of what they are. There are plenty of successful introverts who achieved not in spite of but because of their introversion: Rosa Park, Gandhi, Steve Wozniak, Larry Page, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Sherlock Holmes :) These are the qualities that are more found in introverts: They are gifted with persistence. They are good listeners- they not only listen but empathise. They have a great sense of awareness about themselves and their surroundings. They pay good attention to details.
It’s ironic that an artist, be it an author or a painter, needs solitude to create art, but in order to sell it, he has to come out of the shell and talk about it at public events, even if it drains him. The author uses ‘Free Trait Agreement’ for this, which means introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, to anything they value highly. There are plenty of highly successful leaders, professors, salesmen, agile coaches, product owners as examples. This ability of stretching oneself within limits applies to extroverts, too. But there should always be a balance between what drains you and what recharges you to avoid burnout. You always find your ‘Restorative Niche’ — the place that recharges you, to your true self. For introverts, it can be quiet breaks between client calls/meetings. And extroverts need their restorative niches, too. If they feel that their job doesn’t involve enough talking, they can blow off steam after work.
Oh, and what about relationship between introverts and extroverts? Often these personality types are drawn to each other in friendship, business and relationships. I personally have many extrovert friends with whom I love going crazy, and for them it’s a good break from being falsely upbeat.
So, are you an introvert or extrovert? Does that really matter? I’m an introvert software developer. As a part of my job, obviously I have to code and I love it, as it works perfectly with my persistence. But at the same time, every new client could be a new challenge, could bring completely new environment, new set of people to work with. And I love that too. I don’t mind public speaking on subjects I’m prepared with. And I don’t see these as conflicting parts to my personality. And perhaps it’s not that easy to establish a certain personality because an individual’s personality cannot simply be quantified in the form of a straightforward black and white differentiation.
While agile methodology is all about teamwork and collaboration, but it’s observed that the many of the IT professionals are introverts. Does that mean they have to become extrovert leaving their characteristics behind? No, it’s quite unrealistic and unnecessary because of the reasons I highlighted before. But what can be helpful is the ability to understand each other’s temperament at work. While dealing with introverts, try to avoid stimulations, multi-tasking and respect that they need their space & time. Also note that they often tend to undersell their accomplishments. While on the other hand, recognise that extroverts need to have plenty of varied activities and people to talk to. They perform at their best when challenged, love to be recognised publicly and thrive in larger groups. By respecting one another’s personality, we can establish a strong-combined-vert team!
Credit: It’s all her and her book
Image credit: https://www.deviantart.com/ashnikoal/art/Feeling-Great-Introvert-Extrovert-Couples-659731560
