It’s not you, it’s me
Dear “Toxic” Friend,
I had to block you on all of my social media accounts and step away from our friendship last week because, well, I care about myself. And, really, in light of the explosive multi-pronged social media salvo of accusations and insults you directed at me, you gave me no choice. Let me explain.
First, I want you to know that I love you and I care about you. Your mind is probably tricking you into thinking that I don’t. Maybe those words cause confusion and, perhaps, thoughts like these are coursing through your mind:
How could she care about me if she shut me out of her life? If she loves me, why is she throwing our friendship away over a stupid fight?
If so, I get it. I know those discombobulating moments.
Please try to remember that I love you as you read this letter.
In the midst of our argument last week, you told me that my training as a therapist didn’t mean I was more aware. I disagree.
Here’s why: I used to be a “toxic” friend.
“Toxic” people have difficulty trusting others. Their parental role models never taught them to trust. They’ve not experienced trust before. In fact, their childhoods tend to be wrought with instability, neglect and abuse.
“Toxic” people live with a deep pulsing insecurity, well into adulthood, because their caregiver’s circumstances were…
