My Genius Formula Reveals: That Extra Hour at Work is Worth Nothing! (Part 1)
“Come in, Slaveson. Don’t just stand there, sit down… How long have you been working for me? Almost a year, right. Well, Slaveson, I’ve got some great news! The CEO has asked me to take the Chief Something Officer role. Naturally, I need to select my replacement here and I decided to appoint… YOU! Ha ha, you’re welcome buddy… I have to be honest with you Slaveson, you’re not the most talented manager in my team. I don’t like you that much either. You know what got you this promotion? It’s your devotion Slaveson. The same devotion that got you that fat bonus a few months ago. Seeing your face here at the office, day in and day out, all day long and every evening, nights even, sitting behind your desk, doing whatever it is you do, apparently keeping no hobbies or friendships, not to mention hardly seeing your wife and kids. This is what I call total devotion to the workplace Slaveson. Congratulations!”
You called bullshit? Damn right. Every executive and most employees know that this kind of “devotion” hasn’t gotten anyone a promotion. Unfortunately, too many of us still act like modern slaves and stay long hours at work for the wrong reasons. It’s time to put an end to this nonsense. I want to bestow the world with my very own genius formula, which empirically and mathematically proves that your extra hour of overtime at work is worth… nothing.
A Beautiful Mind — The Sequel
How did I come up with this genius formula you ask? Well, on Pi Day my Facebook feed was full with people gushing with excitement over mathematical wonders. I thought that it could have been nice if I were able to contribute some mathematical endowment to mankind. Too bad I’m not a mathematician. A few days later, on the International Day of Happiness, it came to me. My genius formula!
It’s mathematical. I checked it (for over 2 decades to be honest) and found that it’s valid. It can unleash tons of happiness to a generation of slaves. Graduate students at ivy-league MBA programs would memorize it. Numerous TED speeches would discuss its implications. Screenwriters and Hollywood producers would turn it into a movie, like “A Beautiful Mind,” and Russell Crowe’s grandchild or maybe Jesse Eisenberg would play… me, contemplating my genius while geeky friends and hot chicks try to get my attention to no avail. I can’t wait any longer. The formula should be revealed to the public right away.
OK, I’m exaggerating. Sorry. It all started when people asked me how our app, Qualy Kids, creates more quality time out of thin air. Not weary of the competition, I unveiled our secret technology — a simple push notification parents get if they’re still at work at 6pm that suggests they go home and do something nice with their kids. A few people saw the genius right away. Most gave me a puzzled stare. Yet others were the trigger for the genius formula. These special souls told me something like “hmm, I’m not sure it would help me…” followed by a variant of “I have too much work,” “I have no control over my working hours,” or “no one leaves work that early at our company.”
I was saddened. They don’t know. Someone have to tell them. Your work-life balance is not an unavoidable outcome. It’s a decision. And when you take the right decision on the balance that fits you, then everybody wins — you, your family, your friends, and your employer too.
The Problem Isn’t Working Hard, It’s Working Late
Working long hours is wide spread phenomenon. According to a Gallup survey from 2014, 39% of American workers spend over 50 hours a week at work. Salaried workers, on average, work even more, with 25% of them putting in at least 60 hours per week. This means that roughly 45 million people in the United States alone are working 9-to-7 jobs, or even 9-to-9 ones. Obviously, millions more around the world are painfully living this reality as well. Some of them are even reading this blog right now.
The problem is not about working hard, it’s about working late. This is true especially for parents. If you’re a young bachelor with no one waiting for you at home, you can love your workplace as much as you want. No one cares, Young Slaveson. But if you care about others who care about you, if you’re working late and they’re missing you, then it does matter. A recent Little Tikes survey revealed that parents feel guilty 7 times a week, with the #1 reason being not spending enough quality time with their kids. A recent IKEA survey confirmed that kids also resent the fact that their parents come late from work. So why do parents still choose to stay at work late and miss out on their kids in the evening?
The Root Cause For Working Late — False Beliefs in the Pursuit of Happiness
Some people must work late. Several professions require presence at work at late hours — doctors on a shift at the hospital, security guards, railway construction workers, and astronauts too. However, for the rest of us, especially managers, there’s usually some flexibility in when we work. And yet we work late. Why?
Are you afraid to lose your job for leaving on time? Don’t be, it’s ridiculous. You need to do much worse to get fired. For example, you can do nothing during all those regular hours in which you’re supposed to be working. Or steal office supplies. Or say the right thing to the wrong boss. “She left on time” isn’t juicy enough to write in a termination letter.
Most chances are that you’re working late (a) for money, (b) because you’re happy at work, and (c) towards your career ambitions, which are fueled by your pursuit of happiness.
Unfortunately, all these reasons are stupid. They rely on false beliefs that are not backed by data, psychology, or corporate reality.
This article in its entirety will rock your world. It will save you years of wasteful agony. It will help you achieve balance. It will make you happy and smarter. On the upcoming blog, due in a few short days, I’ll start exploring in depth the variables in my genius formula to explain why that extra hour at work is totally worthless for achieving your goals. Representatives of large corporates are knocking on my door this minute, asking that I don’t publish my proof. But I will!
You can’t wait, I know! To pass the time, and only if you really want to, may I suggest that you Follow me here to make sure you get the next chapter in my thesis? Maybe Like and Tweet to express your future gratitude? Sure, you can Share with friends and colleagues to save them too from agony and increase their happiness. You can also get Qualy Kids for iPhone or Android because it’s good for you and your kids. Anyway, bless you!Part 2: The Secret Formula is Revealed! is now available:
https://medium.com/@oded666/that-extra-hour-at-work-is-worth-nothing-the-genius-formula-is-revealed-5a6620c872df
