What Causes Victim Mentality?
Victim mentality is, in fact, a perfectly natural and automatic human development. Understanding how and why it develops is the key to freeing yourself from it, permanently.
What is “Victim Mentality”?
Living life from a victim mentality means seeing yourself as a victim, and at the mercy of people, circumstances, and events outside of you. It’s living life from a helpless, disempowered standpoint, and counting on the actions of others to change the issues and challenges you are facing.
For some, living from a victim mentality is part of their constant experience; for others, the state of victim mentality may come and go — depending on their current circumstances or emotional state.
What Causes Victim Mentality?
As humans, we are preprogrammed for identifying as victims. In fact, it is more natural and automatic to develop victim mentality than it is to escape it.
1. Human babies are born completely helpless. As infants, everything that happens to us, comes from outside of us, and we are completely dependent on those around us, to provide us with what we need, and to protect us.
2. From birth, every experience is interpreted by the subconscious, given meaning, and that meaning stored for future reference. These references form the structure of who we are and how the world works. It’s how we learn, unconsciously, how to survive in our environment.
3. As we grow, we become more independent, and gradually learn to “make things happen” for ourselves.
4. Since the subconscious has no ability to use logic or reason (the way the conscious mind does), while the conscious mind learns to ask for what it wants and express desires and disapproval, the subconscious is still referring to the “fact” that we are helpless and reliant on what’s outside of us. It is still referring to the “evidence” from previous experience, that what happens to us comes from outside of us, and what we need has to come from outside of us.
Why Doesn’t Everyone Sustain Victim Mentality?
Whether or not a person continues to live from a victim mentality will depend on what other experiences they’ve lived through — and, more importantly, how those experiences were interpreted by the subconscious.
If, for example, a child is treated harshly by his parents, and experiences bullying at school, depending on the combination of references formed from the subconscious’ interpretation of other experiences, he may become fiercely independent and aggressive… or, these experiences may provide increasingly convincing evidence that he is a victim, and at the mercy of the world around him.
Freedom from Victim Mentality
For those who wish to free themselves from the helplessness of living from a victim mentality, there are four main steps:
1. The initial acknowledgment that: We have no control over the world or people around us. This means that relying on people, circumstances, and events outside of ourselves puts us in a helpless, disempowered position. On the other hand, recognizing that what we DO have control over is our own perception — even though it may currently seem impossible — is empowering.
2. Acknowledging that the only reason we believe we are helpless is: we were once helpless, as infants — but that is no longer the case. It feels real, but that is just the automatic subconscious program that is running in the background, and it can be changed.
3. Changing those childhood references that “prove” we’re helpless. In other words, using CMT, we can change the negative, limiting childhood memories that are providing the “evidence” that we’re victims — to the opposite, positive, and empowering. This will result in an automatic and natural shift in perception — supported by NEW evidence that we are empowered, safe, and have the ability to choose our own changes and experiences.
4. Developing control over the chemical state of the brain and body through emotional state conditioning. Keeping stress chemical levels low allows us to use the prefrontal cortex of the brain for cognitive thinking, strategizing, and problem solving — empowering us to take control over what we experience from moment to moment.
Victim Mentality is simply a natural illusion, supported by outdated information. Updating the information automatically dissolves the illusion.
For more information on the science behind changing adverse childhood memories, read: Can We Change Adverse Childhood Memories?