☕ A COFFEE, A MEETING! ☕
A necessary meeting!
Today I received the newsletter in my email, with one of Nour Boustani’s texts — click below to read it in full — and it had two trials in one paragraph. Look:
“Isn’t writing supposed to be the pure reflection of the soul? Shouldn’t writing be simple and direct instead of overly sophisticated and planned?”
At the same time, I remembered the text I wrote on July 18 of last year and that I share with you now. It was this text that made me believe that it is writing that I would like to live, not only professionally, but as a way of calming my soul and heart.
I thought about changing the title to attract more attention, but I wouldn’t be being fair to myself, because that’s how it was written more than a year ago, with an open heart and open soul.
I will confess something that few people know: I have suffered from loneliness! Some days it is stronger than others, to the point that it is impossible to watch television or drink a mate alone.
Yesterday I told some things in the text I published, which I had “stolen” from the author of the book I’m reading at the moment. Today I must finish reading.
After spending the night with insomnia by my side, going to sleep only after managing to get rid of it, at 3:30 in the morning, I woke up after eight o’clock. And I will say that I woke up different, sleepy too, but I made a decision, which I had to fill myself with courage. But it’s that old maxim, right (?): 50% of the answer I already had, doing my part maybe I’ll get the other 50%. If I do nothing, everything remains the same.
Calm that curious and anxious little heart of yours. He doesn’t think, either, that this decision will change the world. Mine will change for sure!
So, I decided that today I wouldn’t go alone, that I wouldn’t have that feeling of “nobody wants me, nobody loves me”. I woke up full of courage!!!
Well, nobody is made of iron, I had my breakfast and wondered how I would do it, and what would be the best approach to succeed and conquer the 50% that was missing from the answer. For some time, some friends, my psychiatrist (Dr. Marcelo), and Priscila, my psychologist — by the way, excellent professionals — encouraged me to look for her, without fear. I would be surprised!
So it was, I puffed up my chest with all the courage that one can have in this world, thinking I was the superhero who is not afraid of anything, but in a cold sweat, I went to invite her for coffee in the afternoon. I don’t know how she understood what I said, I stuttered so much. Even though she tried to hide it, she ended up laughing a little at the situation, but she accepted the invitation (or the challenge) without batting an eye. Blushing and not believing, we agreed to pick her up and go to a nice coffee shop.
“There, I won the day”, I thought! But after all, what subjects would we have, would there be some kind of affinity or would we have a sepulchral silence? From the exaltation of a few minutes ago, a fear began to hit me, I confess! Would I put it all to waste?
“If you’re scared, go scared. Huh!”
I showered and put on a Sunday outfit — whatever that means — hair gel, hydrated beard, and new socks. Yes, brand new socks! Who knows if she is a “repair” or not? Better not risk it!
At the agreed time, we left for Céu da Boca Cafeteria, a pleasant and beautiful place, with a deck that perfectly contrasts with the beautiful blue sky day. Not to mention the warm and attentive service of the staff. If you decide to visit, start with an espresso, and then delight in the rich and delicious options that are available to customers.
Not even the typical winter wind in southern Brazil — that minute wind that leaves even the dog cold — that left the thermal sensation lower than the 12ºC marked on the thermometer would spoil this long-awaited meeting. We arrived after two in the afternoon, we sat down and ordered an espresso each. And she already asked if she could ask for something. My goodness! If the cold I was going through wasn’t enough for not remembering the recommendation that my mother always made when we went out — to “bring a jacket, in case it gets cold” — her plea froze me for good!
– Speak, of course! I said.
– At this moment when we are getting to know each other, could you turn off your cell phone, so that we don’t divert our attention or what we came here to do?
I didn’t question, I just did; because I wouldn’t miss this opportunity that life was giving me, once again, for nothing in the world. Cell phone off and in the pocket!
At this moment our coffee was already on the table, and we toasted with the promise that it would be the first of many. We spent more than an hour exchanging ideas, differing from many others.
We laughed, and we got emotional to the point that the couple who were at table nine — and hadn’t even noticed that we sat at table number 13, odd, which I don’t like — couldn’t stop watching us.
The impression was not that they were bothered, on the contrary, I dare say that our happiness was infecting that side of the deck we were on. Well, it turns and moves, the couple looked at us and smiled.
My heart beat in such a different rhythm, I was so comfortable in her company, that the world could end at that moment. I wouldn’t even notice.
We talk about everything with an intensity I’ve never felt before. I was introduced to some of her secrets, and told some of mine — we were heart and soul open to each other — without judgment. Just being honest!
Do you know when you get the impression that both of you were just waiting for the moment that the universe would provide this meeting? So we were and, on this frosty Sunday of July 18, 2021, the universe came together.
And from this conversation, where emotions surfaced, some important considerations for the future were also recorded. Are they:
- Come what may, we would not be parted anymore;
- One would support the other, unconditionally, even if we had heated debates, but always respectfully;
- That respect and love will be our guidelines;
- That Céu da Boca Confeitaria will be our place, where it all started, for conversations. Especially those that require important decisions from both.
So we called Jessica, the friendly professional who attended to us, with unparalleled cordiality, we asked for the bill and paid. Not without first asking the person responsible for our care to be a witness to this important treaty. We got up and went home together as one, full and happy. And what is better, with the certainty that the future holds a beautiful journey for us!
My only regret is that I didn’t have the courage, or else I didn’t listen to all the people who encouraged me to meet her, without fear of being happy. But it’s alright; everything has its time and it is up to us to respect this time of the universe.
Today I sleep lighter, much happier, and with the confidence that I’m on the right path, even with some stumbles. And as the master, Ian Borges, says: “we don’t make mistakes, we learn”.
Of course, I won’t be able to finish this confession without leaving my sincere apologies to her for not having had the courage to go to her before. Thank you very much — MY OWN COMPANY ❤️ — for accepting the invitation for a coffee. May we always be united and, may our presence be enough, so we will leave the moments of loneliness behind. It’s already past.
Be very welcome
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