The dangers of high expectations: illusion, unpreparedness, and disappointment
Navigating the challenges of seeking success in the streaming industry
In my experiences as a streamer on platforms like TikTok and Kwai over the past five months, I’ve noticed three prevalent things among people trying their luck. Illusion, unpreparedness, and high expectations, with the first often fueled by agencies themselves.
- Disappointment;
- Unnecessary pressure;
- Fear of failure;
- Tense relationships;
- Severe self-criticism.
Unpreparedness could be easily remedied if humans were a bit more humble, admitting that they don’t know everything and that the best path is learning. However, the blame is not 100% on them, as once they’re hooked by the fantasy of financial and geographical freedoms, creating high expectations becomes inevitable. That’s what I would like to discuss a bit more about.
The five problems of maintaining high expectations
And here I believe, from personal experience and not from scientific knowledge — by the way — the duo, anxiety, and high expectations, are inseparable, best friends forever. The first is a natural response of the body to stress, characterized by feelings of worry, fear, or tension. Additionally, it can be triggered by various situations.
Because we do live broadcasts, we end up meeting many people and attending many other lives, and it is not uncommon to notice, feel, and hear from this host who is discouraged, and tired. After all, reality is not what is sold by agencies.
Although, yes, a few streamers make a lot of money. But as we think the grass is always greener on the other side and do not know the path to make it so, frustration is certain. In other words, this brings us more anxiety, and as we enter with our expectations high, the disappointment and discouragement are proportional.
In the last seven days, I have talked to at least four unhappy people, just like me. I can bet, without much fear of being wrong, that they had high expectations, which harm our lives.
Disappointment
Disappointment is an emotional condition that occurs when a person’s desires or expectations are not met, as one of its definitions on the site dicio.com. It brings us a feeling of sadness, frustration, and disillusionment that can be caused by a variety of situations, like the financial freedom that earning in dollars would bring us, as the agency said we would.
Yes, we earn in dollars, but there are days when you’ll be live for five hours and earn only US$ 2.50. Tough, I know!
Disappointment can be a response to any situation where expectations or desires are not fulfilled. Furthermore, disappointment can lead to feelings of displeasure, disillusionment, dissatisfaction, disenchantment, and frustration. Therefore, if you accept some advice, which some will call pessimism, don’t create expectations. Especially when your goal depends on other human beings.
Unnecessary Pressure
Unnecessary pressure is a phenomenon that can occur in various situations, from the workplace to physical health. In the workplace, for example, unnecessary pressure can lead to rework and loss of time and resources in production. This can happen when there is excessive pressure to meet goals or standards that may not be realistic or necessary. The article was published on the Brainly website on March 20, 2023.
In health, unnecessary pressure can have serious consequences. For example, in a pseudohypertensive crisis, the sharp rise in blood pressure is typically caused by some emotional, painful, or uncomfortable event. There are even reports of streamers being hospitalized after fainting, or entering into a depressive crisis due to the high expectations and pressure received from agencies to meet targets.
These same agencies, are the ones that promise you the long-awaited financial and geographical freedom. However, they do not tell you at what cost.
Fear of Failure
Here is my métier, I know a lot about this story of failure especially when you have spent more than half of your life afraid of what others will think. Also, of being judged if you try and it doesn’t work out. And to add a little spice to this situation, you’re almost 46 and “haven’t gotten anywhere.”
The fear of failure, also known as atychiphobia, is an irrational fear that arises when we face new challenges and decisions in life, as psychologist Irene Alabau wrote in an article published on August 28, 2021. This fear is characterized by persistent worry about failing, accompanied by anxiety, insecurity, and self-deprecation, as Patricia Menezes complements in her article Fear of Failure.
The causes of fear of failure can be varied. The interpretation made of the situation, which is exaggeratedly and unrealistically evaluated, can lead to evasion of it, as it is considered a risky situation and one that we do not possess the ability to face. Additionally, the anticipation of results from a negative and catastrophic point of view limits and hinders the capacity for action.
Let me tell you something else: always striving for excellence, as some coaches say out there, will more hinder than help. Seeking perfection will lead you to create unattainable standards, and the effect of that, you already know.
Tense relationships
Tense relationships can arise from various situations, such as unmet expectations, differences of opinion, or external stress. These tensions are often seen as a warning sign, evidence that something is wrong. However, it is important to remember that tensions in a relationship can be normal and even healthy when managed effectively.
And guess what? When you are frustrated, including by expectations generated and not met, it can even harm relationships, leading to strong disillusionment and strain in a once well-functioning relationship. Therefore, once again, it is extremely important to manage expectations. Remember, especially when these possibilities depend on third parties.
Severe self-criticism
Leave it to me, as this is also my expertise. And I’ll go further, it has absolutely nothing to do with impostor syndrome. Because of that, the person stops doing things because they don’t feel capable enough.
Now, when you are very self-critical — as told to me in several sessions with the psychologist and psychiatrist — it sucks. Because everything you do is not good enough, and sometimes it’s not, and that’s okay, but usually it’s just in your head. In one of these sessions, I said to my psychologist:
“It sucks to be me! There are days when I can’t even stand myself.”
Psychologist Angelita Prochnow Wilke wrote, “severe self-criticism is a condition in which the individual has constant negative self-talk, which can significantly interfere with their power of action, decision-making, self-esteem, relationships, and how they deal with their goals, thoughts, and emotions.” She continues in her article published on the Plenitude Clinic website, “This internal dialogue can lead to distorted thoughts about oneself, making the individual feel like a failure and worthless.”
This guy is me, by the way.
We conclude that…
In light of these reflections, it is crucial to understand that illusion, unpreparedness, and high expectations can be dangerous pitfalls, especially in a world that often sells a reality far from the truth. Anxiety and high expectations can lead us to disappointments, unnecessary pressures, fear of failure, tense relationships, and severe self-criticism.
It is important to remember that life does not follow a pre-defined script and the path to success is often full of obstacles and learning experiences. Cultivating humility, seeking knowledge, and managing expectations are essential steps to deal with these pitfalls.
Therefore, may we look at our dreams and goals realistically, understanding that success is not only about achieving financial or professional goals but also about maintaining our mental and emotional health in balance. May we allow ourselves to make mistakes, learn, and grow, without demanding more from ourselves than necessary. After all, the journey is as important as the final destination.
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