What I learnt from being unemployed

At the end of 2017 I left my job. After 3 years at the company, I was getting incredibly unhappy and unmotivated. The lack of enthusiasm was starting to reflect in my work and take a toll on my health and relationships. When I finally called it quits I had a huge decision to make. Do I go on a job hunt straight away to find a new opportunity, or do I change course and do something new, or do I take some time out, chill on the sofa and eat hobnobs?

I decided I was going to start afresh — uncover my true passion (so to speak) and work hard to achieve my dreams. After all, I reasoned, if I find another job in the same industry with the same mentality I have now, chances are, I will find myself dealing with the same stuff but with different people, so I am just going to end up in the same situation after a few years. I need to change me. And this is difficult to do if you don’t take some time out to take stock of your situation.

So over the last three months I embarked on a journey of self-discovery. I started the journey by taking a month-long trip abroad to spend time with people I love, came back for Christmas and then went off to Europe to volunteer as a native English speaker. And since then, I have been spending my days back in the UK, networking like crazy, reading and watching every blogs and videos I can get my hands on to create a new life.

Here is what I learned from my last three months:

The sudden freedom of time can be overwhelming.

Sometimes I refer to my situation as “sampling retirement”, and at this stage I can’t say I like it. Research suggests that depression can increase the chances of clinical depression by around 40%, and I can say that I fully relate to that. If you are a person with a passion outside of work, retirement frees you up to be able to do more of those activities, which is great, but for some, if your whole life and identity is linked to your job, this can be a huge shock to the system.

Not everyone has a passion.

Ah, the elusive passion. I can’t tell you how many advice I have came across from my search that emphasizes passion. I am sure you have heard of some of these: “follow your passion”, “start with why”, “turn your hobby into a career”.

Whilst it is uplifting for some, for others like me, this is a nightmare. I have spent countless hours on the sofa doing various exercises to find my passion and rank my skills in order to find my calling, and I am beginning to come to terms that at the present stage, I just do not have one.

It is a bit like asking a baby “what is your passion” and expecting an answer. Passion comes from experience.

If you are fortunate enough to come across your passion early on in your life, congratulations, but for some of us, we just need to curate more life experiences by doing more. And then, hopefully, we form our passion in doing so.

Analysis paralysis is real.

If there is one skill I have it is in analysing things to death. Business school taught me to look for both advantages and disadvantages in everything in life. Think SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats), think two-by-two grids, think scenario modelling; what all of these have in common is to train you not to take sides (mentally) and be balanced in your arguments.

This is also true in the work place — I used to perform due diligence for companies in corporate acquisitions and I don’t think we have ever issued a report that is 100% positive or 100% negative. In some ways, I think that is why I am struggling to be passionate about anything. How could you be passionate if you are always counter-balancing your own argument?

You may not find support from your closest friends and family.

I don’t mean to say they set out to be unsupportive. On the contrary, they are well meaning. There are two reasons why you might find yourself talking excitedly about a new business idea to a close friend or family, only to receive a lukewarm response, or even worse, being told bluntly that it won’t work.

Firstly, they are trying to protect you from failure.

Starting a bold venture requires the ability to think ahead into the future. Unless you are blessed with a close entrepreneurial network, chances are your network will be full of people who live in the present, and therefore what they see is a cloud of challenges, competition, huge outgoings and countless sleepless nights.

And here is the thing — they care enough to raise those concerns to you to stop you from failing.

Secondly, they want to protect themselves. Ultimately, they are the ones who will end up having to support you financially and emotionally when you fail.

I do not have an answer to this, but I guess the best approach to take in this situation is to know that they care, dig deep, and carry on.

The rise of the internet and social media have conditioned us to have short attention spans and yearn instant gratification.

In retrospect, the adoption of on-demand services such as Deliveroo, Amazon Now and Uber should not have been a surprise. We are in the modern age of consumption where anything we want to know, whatever we want to buy, is handed to us instantly by a couple of clicks.

The internet is full of rubbish.

Interestingly, having spent a full month consuming vast quantities on information online, I realise how poor the quality of information I am getting is. Clickbaits are everywhere, and at some stage, it gets tiresome. Ironically, I find it increasingly hard to find relevant and useful information that I need, compared to perhaps 5 years ago.

As I read out loud my learning points above, I realise I am overwhelmed. As the opportunities presented to me increase, the ease in which I can set my heart on something and move on decreases.

In other words, I am stuck in a rut.

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This series is a documentation of my journey of self-discovery and entrepreneurship.

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