Even prophecies about irrelevance fail
Sometimes people inclusive of family members write off someone as unimportant. In the Bible a mother — Rebecca — wrote off her first son, Esau because a prophecy predicted he would serve his younger brother. Well the prophecy did not come true. Esau became just as great as his brother Jacob, perhaps even richer. The only advantage Jacob gained, because he needed God’s help to be good more than his brother, he sort of developed a closer relationship with God than his brother Esau. Esau was loved by God, however, earning a sort of perpetual endowment from God for his descendants.
The Lesson: We own our own relevance to the extent it lies in our power.
I do not believe in permanent cut-offs from family. Everyone needs a time out from extended family at times, however, so a time out can be good. I would hold out forgiveness, however, in the event the other family member decided they wanted to place the relationship on new better footing.
I have been separated from my four biological children for 5 years, a case of ongoing issues with resolving my divorce from their mother.
I called them regularly for the first three years.
Now, I hardly call them because having them call me Dad has become somewhat of a misnomer. I have no idea of their living situations, cant picture the life they live. There is total disconnect.
Calling them and finding they find it difficult to use the word Dad — a difficulty I fully understand and can relate with — has become somewhat meaningless. It matters not whether others understand. I no longer am able to just call but once in a long while if at all.
Sometimes we just have to do what we believe is best for us no matter whether others understand or not.