How *Not* to be Miserable (try opposite)
Hey, there are many ways to waste your life and be as miserable as you possibly can.
Alright then, read this article carefully because this might be the difference between living happily and enjoying every day or living a life full of miserable sadness. And misery is not just a destination. It’s a bit like football, a skill set that can be honed and perfected.
Here you will learn a variety of strategies grouped into 5 easy steps to follow to become less happy. Along the way, you may discover that you have already mastered many of them and practice them on a daily basis. But you can always get better or perhaps I should say worse.
First, Become an Island unto yourself
We are a social species. Unlike bears, we are build to spend our time in groups. Alone on the savannah, we would never have lasted long. For most of human history, we appear to have lived in tribes of around 75–150 and those who could not handle the complexity of the relationships would go off on their own. Tigers need to eat, after all…
Your Ego is your Amigo
So here we have a great strategy to become more miserable.
Build an island. Put up the fence, close the basement door, switch on the computer, and kid yourself that you have successfully replaced in-the-flesh social contact. It is one of the most effective routes to unhappiness that exists.
Second, Take things seriously… Very seriously… Very very seriously
Also take them personally. Keep yourself distant and unapproachable. You don’t want to spend time with those inferior, inadequate, stupid or unpleasant people, which by the way should be everyone in your eyes, just judge them as soon as you see them and then remember keep your distance.
Always judge, always complain
If it happen to be with someone and have to spend some time with them, complain. Complain about anything and everything. Complain about the weather, about noise, about your neighbors, and my favorite complain about the government and the system.
Mhh sweet…
Third, There are three Times that matter.
The past the future and the present. Yes, we don’t need the present. Because you should spend most of your day thinking and living in the past reminding yourself how bad things were, and in the evening try to think and worry about the future, about the things that will most likely never happen, but still, you don’t want to waste your day without worrying.
Run Forest Run Away
So play some scenarios in your head, play the “what if” game. I mean what if you can’t find a job after college ? And if you get sick ? What if you fail your exams next week ? And for bonus points try to do this right before going to bed so you can maximize the misery from it. Think of something that might happen tomorrow, something bad, let your mind consume that. Now roll over and slide gently off to sleep. Sweet dreams…
Fourth, Focus on Multiple Things at a time.
One of the best ways to be miserable is to relinquish your goals altogether, thus becoming utterly directionless. But if, like many people, misery is not your only goal, then you can dissatisfy yourself with the way you approach your various missions. Instead of setting SMART goals which stand for Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic and Time-Defined. Set all of your immediate goals VAPID: Vague, Amorphous, Pie in the Sky, Irrelevant and Delayed.
Most ultimate goals are a long way off — and If you allow yourself to focus on the smaller steps, you will frequently find that you have succeeded. This runs the risk of increasing your enthusiasm to continue on the path you set for yourself.
Never take the First Step
Instead, stubbornly attend to the ultimate goal. If there are fifty steps in the process, you will get forty-nine identical answers or “Not Yet”. That way you can maintain the aura of failure for almost the entire journey. This will make sure that your interest and motivation degrades, and you are likely to give up long before you reach the finish line.
Fifth, Let the Fear Master You,
Let fear paralyze you, and please do not leave your comfort zone. If you have the urge to do something new or make a change in your life, immediately stop!
Fear — Forget Everything and Run
And let it pass. Simply obey your impulses. If your impulses say that you should avoid dog, heights, people, talking to your crush, enclosed spaces, traveling, asking questions, relationships, airplanes, tests, medical exams, job interviews, and all potential humiliations. Then do exactly that. Avoid them at all cost!!!
Wait for the Perfect Moment
We don’t want any kind of novelty or risks. So stop growing, stop wanting more, stop doing stuff. Just lean back, be passive and let the time pass by. You will do those scary things when you feel like it.
Hmm, maybe later… You know, maybe that’s a good idea ? Yeah, maybe… maybe you will do better in the next life…
Good luck with that!
