Roosh V, Basements, & Empathy

Wil Wheaton found himself in some hot water yesterday. He made a comment on Twitter that a lot of people took umbrage with, partially because he wasn’t fully aware of the situation he was commenting on, and he came to Medium to explain himself . I didn’t think I would find myself in a similar situation, especially not so soon, but here I am.

Let’s start with the basics, OK? The fellow who calls himself “Roosh V” is a rapist, a rape advocate, and an all-round terrible human being. He’s an utter piece of shit, and I would be thrilled if something awful happened to him. I am absolutely not defending him, especially since I just wrote an essay which seriously attacks “pick-up artists” like him, among others. I am, however, objecting to a particular line of attack that’s being used against him.

In the wake of his plan to hold meetings all around the world for his sympathizers, it emerged that Roosh lives in his mother’s basement. Naturally, a lot of people find that hilarious. How pathetic is that? What kind of grown man lives in his mother’s basement? What a loser, right?

I don’t think it’s funny. See, I graduated university in ‘08, just as the global economy took a giant shit. My friends from school are some of the most intelligent, highly-skilled people I’ve ever been privileged to know, and most of them got completely screwed over. One fellow has a master’s degree, and drifts from one short-term, low-paying job to another, while living with roommates in the student ghetto. Another guy “only” has a BA, but was seriously involved in student politics - he works at a store that sells e-cigarettes, and is busy raising his younger brother. One girl has an MA, and works at a cupcake store.

As for me, yeah, I live in my parent’s basement. I basically got kicked out of grad school because I was going through some serious depression and anxiety (it’s slightly more complicated than that, but not worth getting into). Now I work with children & young adults who have disabilities, which is very fulfilling, but also really poorly-paid.

Here’s the thing - none of us chose to work shitty jobs. We didn’t just wake up one day and decide that we would give up on financial security & dignity. We had the bad luck to come of age at the wrong time, when economic opportunities were scarce.

It’s not just us, though. Blaming Roosh for having a less-than-ideal home life reeks of Just World Syndrome - the belief that if something bad happens to a person, or if they’re suffering, or in a poor situation, it must be their fault, and probably a moral fault at that. Not only is that factually incorrect, it fosters an attitude that marginalizes decent people who are stuck in similar situations. There have always been poor people living in terrible conditions, and it’s almost never their fault.

Remember when Brittney Spears had her meltdown a few years back? She went crazy and shaved her head, and comedians had a lot of fun at her expanse. Craig Ferguson was the host of the Late Late Show back then, and he had something very poignant to say. I’m paraphrasing a bit, but his position boils down to “Look, I’ve struggled with addiction, I’ve come very close to suicide, and I’ve been in the same place she is right now. She needs help, not mockery, so I’m not going to make any jokes at her expense.”

Of course, Roosh isn’t an innocent victim here, but stick with me for a minute. I can’t find the clip online, but when Rob Ford, the crackhead mayor of Toronto, had his public breakdown, Ferguson (eventually) took the same approach. Ford was an addict who desperately needed help, so Craig wasn’t going to make fun of him any more.

At the time, I felt (and still feel) that this was the wrong approach. Ford was, and probably still is, a terrible person. He’s allegedly violent & a racist, and he definitely pushed forward terrible policies that hurt a lot of people. Letting Ford off for his addiction is the decent thing to do, but Ferguson stopped making fun of him altogether, which essentially gave him a free pass for all his other horrible behaviour.

So yeah, let’s give Roosh plenty of shit. Let’s hold him accountable for being a rapist, a rape-advocate, a misogynist, and a gigantic piece of pus-filled fecal matter. He has admitted, in his writing, to committing at least one rape, and almost certainly more. Let’s send the fucker to jail! But we wouldn’t make fun of him for missing a limb, we wouldn’t make fun of him for having cancer, and we wouldn’t make fun of him for being an unpopular minority, so let’s not make fun of his living situation. We’re better than that.