The Best New Year’s Resolution

Is Not To Make One

We live in a world of almost infinite possibilities. The Yellowstone super-volcano could go off on January 1st, ending human civilization. Aliens might turn up and help us turn Earth into a paradise. You could win the lottery, or be diagnosed with brain cancer. You might follow your new lover on a humanitarian mission to the Amazon, or lose a parent.

To make a New Year’s resolution is to say “I’m going to change this one tiny part of my life, while expecting everything else to stay more or less the same.” That isn’t just absurd and arrogant, it’s downright offensive. Existence is a vast, swirling, chaotic, glorious mess, and making any kind of resolution is a pathetic attempt to cram all of that beautiful insanity into a grey box. You might as well paint your nails during a hurricane, or read Twilight while sitting in the Louvre.

What will 2016 hold for me? I have no fuckin’ idea, and nothing could make me happier. Maybe my horrible diet will finally catch up with me. Maybe I’ll get a job that pays enough for me to afford my asthma inhalers. Maybe someone will actually pay me for something I wrote (if you’re a publisher looking for a fairy-tale novelette with a strong female lead, give me a call). Maybe I’ll fall in love. Maybe my life will apart.

The truth is simple : we only have control over a very small part of our lives, and much of that control is illusory. Instead of lying to yourself, why not accept reality as it is? Trying living life instead of planning it.

The author accepts no responsibility for any horrible consequences that may come from following his suggestions.

If you enjoyed this article, you might also be interested in my guide to purchasing knives, my article about ethical clothing, my reviews of Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Supergirl, and Star Wars : The Force Awakens, my essay about Star Trek, some general advice about life, my thoughts on the White Poppy Campaign, a quick biographical sketch of a Canadian hero, or The Sad, Strange Story of the Taliban’s Canadian Hostage.

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