Lauren VeloskiinThe Belladonna ComedyIf You Even Look at My Aunt June’s Peruvian Ceramic Dove, So Help Me GodAn entirely reasonable roommate agreement.Apr 1, 20191Apr 1, 20191
Lauren VeloskiinThe HavenMemo From the Desk of Notorious RBG: My Country ’Tis of Thee, Sweet Ribs of LibertyThe below memo, found crumbled in the trash bin behind the Supreme Court Building at One First Street NE. Washington D.C., by a…Nov 21, 2018Nov 21, 2018
Lauren VeloskiMary Poppins Goes to the White House!High above the dickfabulous Washington Monument, sat none other than MARY POPPINS — unperturbed on a cloud.Nov 15, 2017Nov 15, 2017
Lauren VeloskiBREAKING: Kushner’s Disclosure of Private Emails Omitted Cache of Haikus to ChipmunkBREAKING: A former employee, as yet unnamed, has leaked more than a dozen emails to The Washington Post, detailing an intense and…Oct 19, 2017Oct 19, 2017
Lauren Veloski“Murph, You Have the Hips of a Lover and the Assured Side Part of a Great American!”“I ran into John McCain as we walked underground to the Senate for the final vote. Someday, I’ll get to tell my grandkids what he said to…Jul 31, 20171Jul 31, 20171
Lauren VeloskiMissive on Effective Time Management, Sent From Jared Kushner’s Orgasming DimpleHello. My name is Jared Kushner. And these are my dimples.Jul 27, 20171Jul 27, 20171