When the door opens and we see : Spirituality in the time of nothingness

Sometimes we believe, sometimes we do not. And this has been the story of our lives. Now, you may wonder what I am talking about.

Well, before I dig deeper and try to answer your fledgling doubt, let me give you a peek into my life. A life which I am still living — joyfully, painfully, doubtfully and above all contentedly.

Its been how many years, I do not know. I have no memory of the lost time. But time has remembered me, and is flowing inside me still. Like the lost rivers of ancient India. It is still flowing with all the traumas and distresses through the cracks and crevices of my psyche.

I was young then. In my teens. After years of terrible pain and trauma, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. Thenceforth, started a decade of medications and surgeries that eventually wrecked havoc on my mind and body. And that too for a disease which the doctors say has no cure.

And those were my days of not seeing, not realising that there is a door within us, which needs to be opened. I suffered from sickening bouts of depression off and on that further drifted me away from myself. I still do even now, but now it brings me closer to myself. At that time, writing was my only escape. Therefore, I escaped. Only to find myself lost in the same limbo.

I have walked a thousand miles. From then till now. I have perceived many dimensions of time on the way. I have understood that diseases may or may not have a cure. But our minds can be cured of the pain and the torment. After all, we are the children of our own psyche.

“the world is the great gymnasium where we come to make ourselves strong”, Swami Vivekananda.

The story of our present times, is the story of discords. You, who is reading this article might as well have a similar story to tell. It is among all the discords that we ought to find that harmony. The harmony that binds us with ourselves and shows us the door.

We, through our own zones of suffering and nothingness are indeed capable of seeing the light one day. As I have encountered with. Each one of us will find it in different ways. For me, its the path through spirituality.

Spirituality has always been a road less traversed. More so in today’s age of appalling materialism where we define us by the number of likes we get in social networking sites. We love to spend more time with our virtual selves than the real ones.

After more than a decade of suffering from endometriosis, I have felt what staying connected truly means. Spirituality has taught me that. It has shown me the door.

You may wonder if I have finally recuperated from my illness. The answer is No I have not. I still am in the same place as I was many years back. The only difference is that the trauma has grown more intense over the years and its only increasing day by day.

The intenser the pain grows, the stronger it makes me. And I get the strength from my new-found love with spirituality. What I could not see over the years finally opens up in front of my eyes like a newly bloomed flower at dawn.

Like I said, it is the path less taken. But whoever has tasted it, has witnessed the change in themselves. And it is with that change, one can transform others lives as well.

In our short span of life we get only a handful of years to live. The rest of our time, as said by someone, “ we are in the hope of living”. We lose our time, measuring the cup of our life only to find one day that the cup has slipped from our hand.

Sooner or later, we must try to learn to look within. The sooner, the better. And spirituality holds the key to that door which we ought to see at some point of time in our life. For the heaven lies within us. On the other side of the door.

And there are many more doors to open.

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