Have you ever been out in public and saw a hot mom or a cute little thing that caught your attention? You want to approach her and speak to her so badly. Your heart starts to race right away, but let’s say that you actually get the confidence to approach her this time. There’s a knot in your gut when you start talking to her, and you might be thinking some of the following:
“Am I making her uncomfortable?”
“What should I say to make her like me?”
“Was saying that too odd?”
You’ll keep passing up opportunities to attract and connect with a potential high-quality significant other if you never learn the right way to flirt. Use HOTAPE, then!
What Is the HOTAPE Flirting Technique?
Each letter in the acronym HOTAPE stands for a flirting-related principle. It’s an easy-to-use, tested framework! You can develop your flirting abilities and have enjoyable talks with anyone who captures your attention by using humour, openness, touch, attention, proximity, and eye contact.
You need to practise flirting.
¤Flirting isn’t just some skill that’s cheesy or reserved for the army of chads.
¤Flirting is a skill that allows you to transfer your emotion of attraction and energy into another person.
¤One day, you WILL meet a beautiful woman that would be thrilled to be with you, but if you haven’t had any practice flirting, you’ll be stumbling over your words and leaving her thinking that you’re either a selfish jerk or a lonely loser.
¤So in other words, don’t just flirt with THE ONE, flirt with everyone so that you can practice your skill, all you’re doing is transferring your emotion of energy to them.
¤Then by the time you meet a girl you really like, you’ll be confident with your ability to flirt competently.
The mother of HOTAPE!!? (aaa, what’s wrong with me)
The HOTAPE method was developed by Jean Smith, and you might be wondering why she did it. Being a scientist, she was interested in seeing how people REALLY discern when someone is flirting with them. This woman is mostly interested in the science of flirtation. She identified six behaviours that practically everyone engages in while they are trying to flirt.
H~Humor.
According to numerous studies, having a sense of humour is one of the qualities that men find most appealing. The majority of the time, a woman will choose a physically less appealing man who is humorous over a physically more handsome man who seems uninteresting. It’s also simpler than you would believe to be hilarious.
You don’t need to know any planned jokes or sarcastic wit. Women love the type of humor from a guy who just doesn’t take life so seriously (like so serious about perfection and masculinity) . Modeling success is a great framework for humor. Being funny ‘on the spot’ is actually closely correlated with being more intelligent. It might make you smile like the grinch to realize that this is also a skill that can be developed over time.
O~Openness
Did you know that your body’s testosterone levels are influenced by your posture? In a Harvard University study, researcher Amy Cuddy demonstrated that men and women with a high power pose — a relaxed, open body posture — tended to have lower stress levels and higher testosterone levels.
Possessing a calm, self-assured body language communicates that you are a high-value man. According to evolutionary psychology, this indicates that you not only have access to a wealth of materials, people, and concepts that could benefit everyone, but especially your future offspring.
What does this mean in practical terms then?
¤Shoulders facing the individual is a very fundamental position.
¤This is a little more sophisticated because you don’t typically look at someone’s feet directly, but it establishes the orientation for the rest of their body.
¤ A female may be attempting to depart if her feet are directed away from you while she is speaking to you.
¤Carry your head high and your palms open. Again, very simple, yet very effective
¤Walk like if you just won a million dollars and are eager to tell someone about it.
¤Use this mental technique as a guide for your body posture when you enter a room.
¤Additionally, avoid crossing your arms at all costs.
A~touch
There was a cute girl I liked in college, I recall. She was outgoing, the physical embodiment of my ideal type, and we shared practically everything. It was upsetting because she never showed me any shows of interest or attention during our friend group outings. Then one day a friend told me how crucial touch was in helping a girl develop interest.
Knowing how to approach a female with assurance demonstrates your dominance and confidence. Additionally, it sends a message to the girls’ subliminal brain that you are a high-value male.
moved up the physical ladder and decided to pick up the female at random one night and carried her to the dance floor of the club. She had the largest “I want you face” I’ve ever seen as soon as I set her down.
My self-assured physical escalation caused her to become more attracted to me.
When Jean Smith studied the HOTAPE technique, she discovered that touch was the best indicator of whether someone would leave the friend zone. She stated that the upper back and touching hands are excellent places to start.
Of course, you should never do anything with a girl that you aren’t confident in your ability to read.
The physical escalation ladder is crucial for this reason. When making physical contact, always look the girl in the face. Simply smile, apologise if you offended her in any way, and carry on with your chat as if nothing happened.
A~Attention
It’s challenging to get this one properly. How much focus do you devote to a girl? Do you NEED to withdraw occasionally? What would occur if you didn’t?
Most guys romanticise and lavish “too much” attention on the female through repeated texts, compliments, and affirmations. All of us have seen it go too far.
Treating the female you like as if she were a new guy buddy is a terrific mentality to adopt.
Treating the female you like as if she were a new guy buddy is a terrific mentality to adopt.
You wouldn’t send a new guy you met two texts. You wouldn’t be eager to spend time with them right away, and you most certainly wouldn’t give a damn what they thought of you.
Recognize that unlike what most guys believe, girls want to be treated like regular people and not as some kind of unique princess. There is a small minority of women who genuinely want and demand to be treated like princesses, but these girls are typically trouble for most guys.
P~Proximity
How much time do you spend talking close to the girl?
Does her distancing indicate her interest in you?
Rarely do girls approach a guy and initiate contact. But one way they’ll do it is by encircling the guy they like. Recognize how at ease she and you are in the silence before the conversation even begins.
The female will perceive you as hesitant and shy if you are too far away from her. If you are too close to the girl, don’t be concerned. Typically, she will take a step back herself to let you know.
When speaking to her for the first time, an arm’s length is ideal.Think to yourself, “Can I reach out and touch the girl’s shoulder without reaching too much?” as a way to judge this.
Eye Contact
Overly prolonged staring is the most unsettling thing you can do to a girl. Go up to the female if you two make eye contact for longer than three seconds or twice in ten minutes.
Otherwise, if you wait, there will be a bad buildup of awkwardness.
“Hello, my name is ___,Who are you?” is by far the nicest thing to say to the female when you first approach her.
Avoid using corny phrases like “Hey I saw you caught my interest.”
It seems like a planned line. Additionally, girls strongly dislike having to admit how they got a guy. So just be relaxed.
One study claimed that when two strangers make eye contact for seven seconds and when they see each other naked, the same regions of the brain light up. This demonstrates the importance of eye contact, so remember to maintain it even while you are speaking to her.
Last but not least, the one element of this framework that distinguishes between friendly and flirtatious conversation is eye contact. Even if you use all the other techniques — humor, openness, touch, attentiveness, proximity — without making eye contact, someone can mistake your actions for friendliness. You don’t trust me? You can be witty, open, even fist bump or pat a friend on the back, show them affection, and be very near to them, but you shouldn’t stare at one of your pals for too long. It becomes a bit weird.
Following these six H.O.T.A.P.E Theory recommendations will dramatically increase your capacity to meet and draw attractive ladies. When used, the HOTAPE framework relieves a lot of personal pressure and makes it more like a game where you have to complete each task. You can just say you didn’t use humour instead of saying you’re not funny. You might just say you weren’t open enough in that interaction, rather than saying you’re not beautiful. To put it another way, you can blame your inability to follow the framework for the failure of an approach rather than yourself personally, which makes it simpler for many guys to move on from approach rejection.
Sorry for my good English