Les Voyages de l’Âme

the very thought of suicide was real yesterday. in a mess of desperation and self-humilation, there was not much meaning for me at that particular point in time to carry on.

breathing was hard. not feeling the constant pain in the heart was hard. sensing anything was hard in the pitch black room. i didn’t know what to do, i just lied face down and cried like a stupid and completely helpless fool.

i haven’t talked to my parents in almost a month. everything is bottled up, i don’t care. everything is mine to blame.

eventually i just cried myself to sleep.

eventhough i promised myself to never go to the darkside again.

today the ‘home’ button on my laptop fell out, and no matter how hard i tried, i couldn’t get it to stay on the keyboard anymore.

Ce soir sans doute mon âme,
 Asservie, usée par les bas chagrins,
 Sentira le besoin de fuir sa prison de chair.
 Très loin de nous, de notre temps,
 Elle s’en ira rejoindre les étoiles.
Ces contrées lontaines,
 Où les hautes herbes dans les champs vermeils
 A jamais valsent avec la lumière;
 Où peuvent librement errer
 Tous les souvenirs de nos vies sur Terre
 Que le temps vengeur aura voulu effacer.