Comedy: When Men Write About Women
They still don’t know.
Titles matter — we know this. Titles are why someone will click on your piece or walk away. For fun, whenever I see a title on women, by a man, I always want to click.
It is fun time — usually.
Paraphrased titles on women by men:
“3 tricks to land that girl of your dreams”
“You keep failing to win her over because you are not doing these 7 things”
“My 1 fail-safe hack for landing any woman”
And on and on they go.
Every time I read them, I see the hollowness and the very reasons why relationships will continue to fail.
Dude, at 22, you haven’t figured out jack about yourself. Why do you think you have figured out what makes you ‘land’ and keep any woman?
Guy, all your relationships have failed and the longest one was 6 months, over 2 years ago, what makes you a relationship, guru?
Read one where the guy was going on and on about flashing a big smile, having a loud voice, and maintaining eye contact. He sounded like a creep at a party. All my senses were tingling — getaway! And it was just a piece.
One of my recent pieces was on how getting older as a writer can mean you can be a better writer. The point is — the older you get, the wiser you should grow. I think that is just the one thing we should count on with age.
The better pieces on women by men, I have found, are from men who are much older and who keep saying, “I think…”, “After many years of being a therapist” or some variations of that. This is not to say that no man can definitively talk about “getting with a woman” or “how to be happy with a woman” or whatever.
It takes more than arrogance to know how to have a successful relationship. And even with the best of intentions, relationships still fail.
Have you figured out some innate truths like:
- You cannot make anyone happy? The secret to happiness is in a person. If my default mode is unhappiness, you cannot fix me. I have to put in the work. It does not mean that I am a bad person. It does not mean that I intend to sabotage my relationships. It just means I need to grow more to be good with myself before I can be good with you. In your relationships with women, how do you convey that?
- How do you talk about the emotional safety that a woman should feel to be herself so you can enjoy her? It isn’t all about — buying her flowers, remember the anniversary… when a woman says, “I don’t feel heard” what do you hear? When a woman says is venting about her work, are you in “fix it for her mode” or “hear her out” mode? There is a difference. Do you know it?
- Women love to communicate. It isn’t about listening alone. She also wants to hear your fears about life, the future, and even the relationship. Is she dating you or a superhuman? Where is the vulnerable side of you?
- What about being a competent partner, not one who weaponizes incompetence? Women want a partner. Are you her other child or is she your mommy? Before you write about women, have you figured out how to share her mental load in the home? How to look things up on YouTube rather than ask her to make the pasta because you “don’t know how to?”
- What about sharing your processes? For instance, I love to read to improve myself because there is a world of knowledge out there that can benefit me. I also love to be alone. If you want someone always ‘on’, I am not her. Does the woman in your life know you? Your processes of how you live? Why do you live how you do and how you intend to grow and keep growing?
These are examples of what women are into. All these flash-in-pan methods of ‘landing’ women, just feel like talking about a wedding when the real deal, is the marriage. Substance matters over anything else. Pretending women are alien beings that need complicated codes to be broken into and broken down, will always give comedic writings.
Women are simple. Women are difficult. Women are complicated. Just like men. No one has any magic bands around it. Stop writing like you do.
Thank you for reading. Buy me coffee?
