Mr Grumpy > Mr Happy(ish)
People who know me (well) will know that I can be a bit of a miserable fucker now and again. Not in a nasty way (my heart is in the right place) but occasionally, I can be a bit of a grumpy arse.
I’ve worked with psychologists on a few projects, and over the course we’d get talking about the mind and the brain. I started to take that understanding of how the brain reacts and apply it to my own habits and personality traits. Quite quickly I could see why I do certain things because of particular events in my past. Mind-blowing!
I’ve been aware of it for a few years, but I’ve never actually acted on it. A few weeks ago I decided to start to make a change. My granddad died when I was fairly young. I don’t remember a lot about him as I never really got to know him. What I do remember though is we called him grumpy grandad. I don’t want that to be my nickname when I’m old.
My brain reacts in a particular way, to make me act in a certain way in a certain situation. All I need to do is re-wire my brain. Simple. There are various studies on how long it takes to retrain a habit or behavior, ranging from 22 days to 66. The technical term is the neuroplasticity of the brain, which is it’s ability to change neural pathways, thereby changing behavioral habits. How fucking good is that!?
I’ve started paying attention to my triggers. What makes me happy, sad, angry, confused, embarrassed, etc. It’s eye opening. It’s also really fucking exciting. Instead of running on auto-pilot, I’m trying to think of my response, and in turn feel much happier for it. It’s OK to be sad, to be annoyed, to get angry, but I’m trying to take control of how I react. Yes I’ll slip up, my brain knows a certain way, and I’m attempting to change it. I want to be a better husband, dad, designer, friend, human, and in turn do more things that make me happy.
The above is a real basic overview, and I’ve noticed a few things about myself along the way…
I love to give
I like to give more than I take. I fucking LOVE Christmas, not because of what I’ll get but because I love buying presents for people. I actually feel more comfortable giving than taking, where I can feel a bit awkward.
I’m running a half marathon in a few weeks, raising funds to give back to the Neonatal Unit where my 2 little girls received amazing care when they both arrived too early — https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ol-booth
I need to be out of the bubble
I’ve not been away from design for the last 14 years. Since going to College, graduating, getting a job, then starting Side by Side it’s been design, design, design. I fucking love my job, but it’s easy to get caught in the bubble, which can get a bit boring. It gets boring reading design blogs blogging about the same stuff. Boring reading another designers opinion about a recent rebrand, boring reading bitchy comments on twitter. Blah, blah, blah. I‘m happier flitting in and out of the bubble.
Being like this leads me onto the next point…
I love to learn about new things
Knowledge is power, or so they say. I get a real kick from getting interested by a subject, and then jumping head first in. Business, tech, fitness, sport, music, culture, cooking — I want it all!
I’ve recently got heavily into podcasts and audio-books. I like reading, but can never find time. But I can learn while driving to work/going to the gym? YES! Commuting to work + gym time = around 10 hours per week for me. That’s 10 hours where I can wake up my brain rather than listening to the same playlist I’m bored of. For me, this is far more inspiring for my work.
Endorphins are my drug
I’ve been going to the gym on and off for years. I love it. I get up around 5.30am, and get to the gym for around 6. It sets me up for the day. I’ve recently just got back into running. I used to be an avid runner 4 or 5 years ago,and would easily clock up 50-odd miles in a week. I drifted away from it, but I was inspired to get back on the streets by Mills’ quest to run 100 miles. I’d forgot how fucking good running is for the mind. My pace is shit compared to what I used to do, but I am carrying a few extra pounds ;)
Sometimes I get to a certain point where the stars align and I feel like crying from euphoria. Seriously. Surprisingly I’m not alone.
I’m totes emosh
I’m a very emotional person (see the above running ‘euphoria’). Sometimes that’s good, sometimes bad. It gives me empathy, and allows me to see points from other sides and to rationalise points, and it can also make me a stubborn prick. I’m learning to control that emotion and harness it in a positive way.
I don’t take things too seriously
Work hard, but piss about just as much. We have a ground breaking game at the studio called Side by Side Tennis (working title). It involves a foam football, 2 chairs, old cardboard tube and a door frame. I won’t disclose much more as it deserves it’s own post with imagery and rules. Needless to say it’s shit like this that keeps you sane.
I NEED my own space
Some hate being on their own. I need it. Just an hour or so a day to be alone with my thoughts is great. Just another reason I love running — 2 birds 1 stone.
This may, or may not be useful to anyone. You may think I sound like a whiny twat. But it’s useful to me, as getting this down in words is a reminder if I forget why I’m doing things, to stop making excuses and to just enjoy the ride.
Peace x
P.S I’m not going to stop being sarcastic, because that’s my thing.
