Don’t THINK and DRIVE

Don’t drink and drive, Don’t ‘THINK’ and drive

10 minutes drive that felt like a years journey because I played back my life in the past One year in those few minutes on Lekki Express way this night. I was in so much pain my car A/C was choking me. Had to wind down the glass for some Air Instead of Enjoying the fresh Breeze, The breeze itself was beating me like Flogging or hiting someone hard adding to the pain and Agony I was feeling

A drive from vgc to lekki phase with all I found out, I wasn’t sure driving home would be safe for me. I held the wheels with my hands shaking just like I am typing this now.

Goose bumps like an allergic reaction to the pain I feel so deep in my heart am not sure what still exists there.

The thoughts that went through my mind in those 10minutes almost made me break down. I held back the tears even if they over powered me a bit, I kept telling myself I can be strong to forget to let go. Maybe I could put on the look ‘Am not in pain’ and ‘I can move pass this’

The thoughts where not so new just updated and Refreshing. Got me thinking I should be ashamed and am obviously stupid. For allowing myself go through all of this.

Name,voice,moments,thing,who we are,who we wanted to be, plans all tied to my system like an addiction. Comparing myself to a cocaine addict, and at this point the further I drove the more I had the flashbacks and addictions getting a hold of me.

At a point I couldn’t move faster than 60km on the expressway, the pain slowed me down, the thoughts & reality weakened me. I was tempted to park by the expressway and Let it all out but even that was too dangerous, it was dark & drizzling.

Latest development summed up everything. if I had to courage to Fall In Love fearlessly without the thought of getting Hurt, I should have the courage to walk away looking stupid and ashamed… And accept what it has become, hopefully not look back or ask questions.

One would think someone like me would be wise enought but unfortunately am just like every other confused, love struck/blinded, committed, not giving up Girl out there. I am no different we keep hoping and praying. Which I always do. I stayed more postive than thinking negative.

Now a shameful outcast being fed with so much. Like I always say One has to GIVE to TAKe, that’s where the balance can come in. I have given too much that’s the problem.

Its good I feel this way because I went in without back up. Put the blame on me (she said)

I wasn’t been rooted for:) We see and learn everyday.

I choose one but I wasn’t the pick not even running. Not sure what am to learn from all this but time will tell.

The drive that almost cost me more