The Psychology of “Old Money”: 5 Behaviors That Say Culture and Elegance
So we’ve been scouring the lovely comments here at Old Money Luxury…
And you’ve told us you want us to dive much deeper into the actual psychology behind “old money”, as we like to call it…
Now of course when we say “old money”, we don’t mean the coins you found wedged in your sofa cushions.
We’re talking about venturing into the rarefied world of the the Rockefellers, the Rothschilds, and the Astors.
These are families whose wealth has been passed down the generations, creating a culture with its unique psychology.
Getting to the heart of the matter, “old money” is not just about a bank balance brimming with zeros.
It’s about an attitude, a set of behaviors, a way of life that’s almost alien in today’s ostentatious, selfie-obsessed society, constantly flaunting their wealth for likes and retweets.
This lot — the old money crowd — they have an entirely different approach to wealth and society. They’re not into random flashy cars, colossal yachts, or diamond-encrusted watches.
They value discretion, education, philanthropy, good manners, and long-term thinking. It’s a tantalizingly unique perspective in our modern world, driven by instant gratification and rampant consumerism.
And that’s precisely what we’re going to dive into today:
The Psychology of “Old Money”: 5 Behaviors That Say Culture and Elegance
Why?
Because, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a lot more to wealth than the green in your wallet.
So strap in, because it’s time to learn from the masters.
Behavior #1: Legacy and Long-term Thinking
First off, let’s talk about legacy and long-term thinking.
For the “old money” clan, wealth isn’t a fleeting concept, a one-off viral song on TikTok, or a VIP ticket to Coachella.
Instead, it’s a family heirloom, a treasured relic to be passed down with care, generation after generation.
Their mindset for long-term planning and wealth management is vigorous and precise.
Their strategies are never short-sighted. Instead, they’re designed with a long-view telescope, always peering into the horizon.
They don’t ask, “What will make me rich?” They ponder, “What will keep my family secure for centuries?” It’s all about protecting and growing the nest egg, ensuring the comfort of generations yet to come.
This mentality even extends to how the “old money” clan views material possessions quite differently from the “new money” lot.
For instance, while the latter might flaunt a Lamborghini today and a Bugatti tomorrow, “old money” savors the painstakingly crafted grace of a vintage Rolls-Royce, maintained over the years as a symbol of timeless quality rather than ephemeral prestige.
The same ethos extends to their wardrobes. Rather than chasing each season’s Gucci trends, “old money” prefers the enduring elegance of a Savile Row suit or a Chanel dress, appreciated more with each wear.
It’s not about being the loudest in the room, but investing in and preserving quality that truly stands the test of time.
At the heart of this behavior lies a psychology that’s future oriented.
You might argue it’s a sort of survival instinct, a biological need to secure one’s own. But it’s more than that. It’s a philosophy that values foresight, patience, and discipline.
It’s about planning for a future they may not live to see, but their grandkids will. It’s about planting trees under whose shade they may never sit.
But here’s the good news — you don’t need a Swiss bank account to think this way.
In fact, let’s give you some tips, right here and right now.
You don’t need to splurge on a Rolls-Royce or a bespoke Savile Row Suit. Think of buying a well-maintained, pre-owned Lexus or higher-end Volvo instead of the latest “new money” gas guzzler.
These brands are known for their reliability and longevity, offering excellent value for your hard-earned money.
Clothing wise, skip the flashy, fast-fashion labels. Invest in timeless styles from respectable brands like J.Crew or Ralph Lauren’s middle-end offerings.
Their clothes are known for good quality and classic design, which will save you money in the long run.
The goal? Buy less, choose well.
Eschew flaunting wealth and instead focus on things that truly matter: personal growth, character development, and a stable future for your family.
It’s about making smart, enduring choices, not just for yourself, but for generations to come.
Remember, wealth isn’t just about what you have now, but also about what you’re going to leave behind.
It’s not about the here and now. It’s about the then and there. The question isn’t “What can I afford?”. It’s “What can I sustain?”.
Behavior #2: Importance of Etiquette and Good Manners
Next on the agenda is the elegance of etiquette and the magnificence of manners.
There’s something about “old money” that exudes a level of decorum that’s hard to overlook.
They’ve got the good grace to hold their tongue when angry, the right words at the tip of their tongue when they’re called upon, and the good sense to use them at the right moment.
It’s not just about knowing which fork to use at a gala dinner, it’s about showing respect and dignity in every interaction.
Let’s consider two hypothetical social scenarios to illustrate this point.
First, imagine attending a social event where someone accidentally spills a drink on your expensive outfit.
A “new money” or classless individual might react in a passiveaggressive manner, or even with visible anger… and subsequently embarrass the clumsy guest publicly.
The “old money” response? They’d handle the situation with grace, downplaying the incident, and ensuring the person who spilled the drink doesn’t feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.
The emphasis is on maintaining the dignity of the situation and showing empathy rather than reacting impulsively.
Second, consider a situation where someone makes an ignorant comment in a group conversation.
A “new money” person might seize this as an opportunity to show off their knowledge, correcting the speaker in front of everyone, which could lead to humiliation.
An “old money” individual, however, would subtly steer the conversation in a way that corrects the misinformation without blatantly calling out the person. They know that respect in conversation is about listening and understanding, not one-upping or belittling.
The wonderful thing about manners is they don’t cost a penny.
Anyone, regardless of their bank balance, can adopt good manners and etiquette as part of their character. Good manners are a reflection of personal respect and sound upbringing, not wealth.
And, even better… Numerous studies have shown that individuals with good manners are more likely to be perceived positively, make friends easily, and succeed professionally.
You see, etiquette and manners can open doors that even money can’t.
But, why is it so?
Good manners are an indicator of social intelligence. They show that a person is aware of societal norms, can adjust their behavior to different social contexts, and respects the feelings and experiences of others.
These qualities are universally valued, regardless of culture or social status.
So, my friends, lesson number two from the “old money” behavior playbook is this — embrace the power of etiquette and good manners.
Make grace, tact, and politeness the currency of your interactions because, believe me, nothing says ‘class’ louder than good manners…
And nothing screams ‘vulgarity’ quite like its absence.
Behavior #3: Discreet Success
Rolling into the third principle, we’ve got “Discreet Success”.
Now, this is an intriguing one.
In this social media frenzied era where every iota of success, be it a new car, a vacation, or a pricey pair of shoes, is plastered online for all to see, “old money” offers a palpable difference.
They are the keepers of a very different philosophy: understated wealth and quiet success.
They often downplay their riches, and their successes are seldom the fodder for flashy headlines. You won’t catch them flaunting a new jet or a diamond-studded necklace on Instagram. No, they prefer to live their lives away from the glaring public eye.
Take the example of the famously reclusive Gettys or the ultradiscreet Rothschilds.
They’re known to keep a low profile despite their immense wealth, keeping the media circus at arm’s length.
Their lives don’t revolve around keeping up with the Joneses or flexing their riches. Instead, they cherish privacy, discretion, and subtlety.
The psychology behind this behavior is multifaceted.
On one hand, it’s a desire for privacy, a sanctuary away from public scrutiny.
On the other, it’s an understanding that wealth doesn’t define a person’s worth or character. They believe in substance over show, in genuine connections over superficial acclaim.
This philosophy is a breath of fresh air, isn’t it?
And it’s something any one of us can adopt, regardless of our bank statement.
We can all embrace a life where we value our achievements, but we don’t use them as a yardstick to measure our worth.
Consider social media, an arena often used to showcase wealth and success.
A “new money” individual might primarily post pictures of the times they traveled to exotic locations, plastering a “take me back” hashtag under their recent trip to Bali or the Amalfi coast.
An “old money” individual, however, may use their platform to share pictures of them attending a recent charity event, or building homes for the less fortunate in the savannah.
Wealth is present, but it’s discreetly woven into the fabric of their more meaningful pursuits.
To adopt this “old money” elegance, consider sharing more about what enriches you as a person rather than your material acquisitions.
At social gatherings, a “new money” person might boast about that same recent first-class trip to an exotic location or their latest luxury purchase.
The “old money” crowd, on the other hand, engages in conversation that enriches the intellect and spirit.
They might discuss a recent documentary they found enlightening or a local art exhibit. The focus is shifted from possessions and trips as status symbols, to ideas and experiences that broaden horizons.
Here’s the truth: success is personal and doesn’t need an audience. It’s not about how others perceive us, it’s about how we perceive ourselves.
So, in an age where everything is broadcast, let’s learn from “old money” and celebrate success discreetly.
Behavior #4: Emphasis on “Giving Back” / Philanthropy
Next in line, we have a behavior that’s both noble and noteworthy — the old money’s sense of ‘giving back’ or philanthropy.
They may be tight-lipped about their wealth, but when it comes to charitable deeds, they’re as open-handed as they come.
Of course, we’d be lying to you if we said that the tax write-offs or photo-ops don’t help push the needle on this one, but always remember many “old money” family members are discreet and do not even mention to others that they give back.
Philanthropy isn’t all about Bill and Melinda Gates Foundations or Giving Back pledges.
Now, let’s look back at history.
The Rockefellers, the Fords, the Carnegies — these names not only echo wealth but also the vast philanthropic endeavors they’ve undertaken.
Their charitable foundations continue to support a myriad of causes — from education, arts, and culture… to environment, science, and health.
It’s not about throwing money at problems; it’s about strategically investing in long-term solutions.
But why such an urge to give back? It stems from an awareness of their privilege and a strong sense of stewardship.
There’s a sense of satisfaction, a psychological reward that comes from giving. It’s about creating a legacy that impacts society positively, making the world a bit better than they found it.
But here’s the thing: philanthropy isn’t a privilege of the wealthy.
All of us can embrace the spirit of giving, regardless of our financial standing.
Maybe you can’t endow a university or fund a hospital, but there are countless other ways to give back.
Got a couple of free hours a week? Volunteer at a local shelter. Got skills? Offer your services to a non-profit that could use your expertise.
Even a small financial donation within your means can make a difference to someone in need. Remember, it’s not about the size of your contribution; it’s about the consistent act of giving.
So, let’s take a leaf out of the old money book, shall we?
Let’s think about how we can make a difference, because you don’t need to be wealthy to be generous.
Behavior #5: Valuing Education & Intellectual Pursuits
Last but certainly not least, we delve into the realm of education and intellectual pursuits.
If there’s anything “old money” values as much as their wealth, it’s their knowledge.
They consider education not as a mere stepping stone to a job, but a lifelong pursuit, an essential part of their personal and character development.
For these families, it’s not just about securing degrees from Ivy League schools. It’s about being well-read, well-informed, wellversed in the arts and sciences, politics and culture, history and philosophy.
And this emphasis on education and intellectual growth isn’t just for show. It’s a long-term strategic move.
A well-rounded education equips them to navigate the complexities of the world, to make informed decisions, to sustain their wealth, and contribute meaningfully to society.
This behavior deeply influences their choices and lifestyles. They’re more likely to have a well-stocked library than a fleet of supercars, more likely to attend a lecture than a red-carpet event. It’s about nourishing the mind, not feeding the ego.
Now, here’s where the rubber meets the road.
This is a principle that anyone can, and everyone should, embrace, regardless of their financial standing.
Prioritize education, not just in terms of degrees and qualifications, but as a means of personal growth.
Switch off the “latest drama-filled” podcasts and opt for an Audible membership to finally finish off that intellectually stimulating book.
Start a journaling practice, even if it’s just for five minutes a day. Stay curious. Read widely.
Remember, knowledge is a wealth that no one can take from you. It’s a resource that multiplies when shared, not diminishes.
So, invest in your intellectual pursuits. In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.
After all, wealth may open doors, but it’s knowledge that paves the path to success and fulfillment.
