The Secret Language of “Old Money”: 10 Code Words & Behaviors Explained
“Old Money” — a term that has, as of the last couple of years, seamlessly embedded itself into the digital realm… represents wealth that has weathered countless storms, nurtured through the passage of generations.
Today, ‘Old Money’ has become something of a cultural symbol, sparking significant interest and trending discussions across social media platforms.
The “aesthetic” echoing Ivy League traditions, grand mansions, invaluable antiques, and classic cars have all become part of its captivating appeal.
Yet, dear viewers, let’s separate the substance from the symbol.
The essence of “Old Money” lies not in material possessions, but in a deeply ingrained mindset and the practice of meticulously crafted etiquette.
It’s an enigmatic code, revealed through subtle gestures, social conduct, and a nuanced use of language.
In today’s episode of Old Money Luxury, we aim to decode the mysteries of these “Old Money” code words and behaviors, beginning from the most obvious and gradually delving into the complex and nuanced, as we describe…
10 Code Words and Behaviors That Speak In The Secret Language of “Old Money”
#10 Code Word: “Summer” — As A Verb
Let’s begin with a fairly common one that many of you probably know.
The upper classes, the ones who often best comprehend the hidden language of “old money,” use ‘summer’ as more than a noun depicting a season — it becomes a verb signifying their privileged lifestyle.
You see, these individuals don’t merely “experience” summer, they proactively ’summer.’
It symbolizes their annual exodus to sunlit sanctuaries like the Hamptons or the French Riviera.
Why does ‘summer’ undergo such a transformation?
It’s a subtle code, hinting at a life of inherited privilege that sees them retreat to their seasonal refuges with practiced ease.
An anecdote you might hear would be, “We always summer in Tuscany,” or “Our family has summered in Nantucket since time immemorial.”
However, if you yourself begin to incorporate ‘summer’ as a verb in your lexicon, be prepared for varied reactions.
To the uninformed, it may seem perplexing or amusing. Yet, for those privy to the clandestine language of the ‘old money’, your usage of ‘summer’ will be recognized as an initiation into the nuanced realm of aristocracy.
It’s this linguistic sleight-of-hand that separates the true custodians of wealth from the pretenders.
#9 Etiquette: The Graceful Exit
The world of “Old Money” is akin to a beautifully choreographed ballet, with a profound focus on social cues and decorum.
One such intriguing norm is the art of gracefully exiting a social interaction.
‘Old Money’ don’t simply leave; they glide out of situations with subtlety and finesse, often aided by another participant in the conversation.
Contrarily, the ‘New Money’ and other classes may not always pay heed to this nuanced dance of departure.
These circles, perhaps not as deeply steeped in tradition, may overlook the graceful exit’s value as a significant social art form.
To flesh out this point, a common ‘Old Money’ maneuver to make a graceful exit is to engage a trusted acquaintance in the process.
It’s an ingenious strategy, providing an elegant, unimpeachable reason to withdraw from the conversation.
For instance, during a cocktail party, a patriarch might say, “Excuse me, I believe I see my old friend Charles, I must catch up with him.”
Or perhaps at a charity gala, an heiress might be ‘rescued’ by a friend saying, “Darling, you must come and meet our new patrons.”
These seamless exits are quintessentially ‘Old Money’, exuding the kind of etiquette and social dexterity that have been honed and polished over generations.
It’s a silent symphony that continues to play out at the highest echelons of society.
#7 Code Word: “When We Were In…” For Travel
The lingua franca of the ‘Old Money’ contains a certain joie de vivre, especially when they refer to their travel experiences.
Rarely would you hear them use a mundane term like ‘vacation.’
Instead, they sprinkle their conversation with phrases such as, “When we were in…” followed by the mention of an obscure city or a lesser-known region, rather than a country or a larger area.
This peculiar choice of words serves two distinct purposes.
First, it subtly implies the listener’s knowledge of these obscure locales, thereby ensuring they belong to a similar social stratum.
Secondly, the phrase “when we were in” casually intimates that travel for them is not a rare indulgence, but a common occurrence, as natural as a change of season.
The term ‘vacation’ is thus neatly eschewed, as the ‘Old Money’ sees globetrotting as a standard element of their existence.
To illustrate, one might hear, “When we were in St. Moritz, the lavender fields were absolutely mesmerizing,” or “The last time we were in St. Barts, we discovered this quaint little café on the Rue de la République in Gustavia.”
Such phrases, casually tossed into the conversation, are indicative of the ‘Old Money’ class’s unique worldview and their familiarity with the globe’s nooks and crannies.
They’re not merely globetrotters; they are connoisseurs of the world.
#6 Behavior: The Art of Introduction
Within the intricate machinery of high society, ‘Old Money’ families often serve as the lubricant that keeps the wheels spinning smoothly.
One key way they do this is by tactfully introducing individuals to one another, acting as matchmakers for brilliant minds, potential collaborators, or individuals with complementary interests.
This calculated social maneuver isn’t merely about being friendly or well-networked; it’s a strategic play that subtly elevates their status.
They become the vital link, the indispensable connector that drives exciting initiatives, partnerships, or alliances, further cementing their position within their circles.
However, this behavior is not ubiquitous among the ‘Old Money.’ There are times when such introductions are deliberately avoided.
For those seeking to maintain a lower profile or are wary of others’ intentions, excessive socializing might seem like inviting unwanted attention or risks.
Yet, being a social connector is undoubtedly a refined move, more frequently observed among the elite.
It is a symbol of their finesse in navigating social interactions, subtly enhancing their standing without appearing overly ambitious.
To practice this art, one could, for instance, at a gallery opening, introduce a budding artist to a well-known curator, saying, “Emma, I’d love for you to meet Henry. His eye for emerging talent is unparalleled. Henry, Emma’s work is truly visionary; I thought you two should meet.”
This small gesture subtly places you as a person of influence, aware of others’ needs, and someone who can make things happen — quintessentially ‘Old Money.’
#5 Code Word: “The Club”
In the coded language of the ‘Old Money’, “The Club” holds a significant position.
Vague to an outsider but crystal clear to those within the circle, “The Club” could refer to a country club, a golf club, a yacht club, or any other exclusive institution.
The assumption, of course, is that the listener knows exactly which ‘club’ is being referred to, subtly highlighting that both parties belong to the same exclusive community.
This casual mention of “The Club” speaks volumes about the shared understanding and unspoken bonds within these circles. It’s an implicit acknowledgement of mutual membership to an elite group, subtly distinguishing them from the ‘have-nots.’
To an untrained ear, this might seem innocuous, but to those in the know, it’s a clear demarcation of privilege and belonging. It’s a linguistic wink, a nudge that quietly asserts, “We belong to the same tribe.”
For instance, a lady might say, “We’re dining at The Club tonight,” or a gentleman might casually mention, “I bumped into William at The Club.”
These seemingly ordinary statements, steeped in exclusivity, are a testament to their nuanced language, one that speaks volumes about belonging, privilege, and shared understanding — a language only deciphered by the ‘Old Money.’
#4: Behavior: “Interesting” People Events
The social finesse of ‘Old Money’ often manifests in their ability to curate an eclectic mix of ‘interesting people’ in one room.
Acting as the puppet masters of a grand social mechanism, they carefully engineer gatherings that are more than mere parties; they’re hotbeds of intellectual exchange, power dynamics, and understated influence.
A notable example of this historical practice is Mrs. Astor and her famed ‘400 List.’
It was the epitome of high society in the late 19th century, consisting of the crème de la crème of New York society.
The list was a Who’s Who of the elite, from influential businessmen to celebrated artists, each person carefully selected for their unique contributions to the societal tapestry.
Fast-forward to the 21st century, and this tradition continues among the upper echelons.
In the world of ‘Old Money,’ attending lavish galas, soirées, or even intimate dinners is more than a social event.
These occasions are opportunities to mingle with a handpicked assembly of ‘interesting people’ — individuals who bring with them a certain charm, intellect, or influence.
At these gatherings, one can expect to find renowned authors conversing with astute politicians, philanthropists discussing ideas with innovators, and artists sharing thoughts with captains of industry.
It’s a fascinating social dance choreographed by ‘Old Money,’ demonstrating their understanding and control over the societal currents that shape our world.
#3 Code Word: “Cottage”
Within the ‘Old Money’ lexicon, as we have already seen, certain words carry a meaning quite distinct from their dictionary definitions.
Another classic example is the term “Cottage.”
While for most, a ‘cottage’ might conjure images of a cozy, modest dwelling, within the elite circles, it bears a wholly different implication.
In the parlance of the ‘Old Money,’ a “cottage” often refers to a substantial second home, typically nestled in an enviable holiday hotspot.
These ‘cottages’ are seldom humble abodes. They’re more likely sprawling estates or luxurious villas, replete with every imaginable comfort. However, the understated term ‘cottage’ is employed with a twinkle of self-effacing humor and a nod to tradition.
This euphemistic use of ‘cottage’ underscores the ‘Old Money’s’ knack for subtle communication, their innate desire for privacy, and perhaps, a certain disdain for ostentatious display of wealth. It’s not uncommon to hear a phrase like, “We’re summering at our cottage in Newport this year” or “Our family cottage in Mustique has the most beautiful sunsets.”
Such statements, laden with unassuming grandeur, epitomize the essence of ‘Old Money’ — a deft blending of wealth, exclusivity, and a timeless sense of discretion and understatement.
#2 Behavior: The Art of Questioning Without Revealing
Within the intricate ballet of ‘Old Money’ social interactions, a recurring behavior is the art of questioning without revealing too much.
Often, ‘Old Money’ individuals steer the conversation by asking well-placed questions, eliciting responses while subtly withholding personal information.
Why this predilection for questioning?
Firstly, it shifts the spotlight from themselves to the other party. This ensures that their personal lives remain private and reduces the risk of unintentional revelations.
Secondly, it showcases their interest in others, creating a favourable impression without the need for self-promotion. And finally, by allowing others to talk more, they gather useful insights and information, arming them for future interactions.
However, there are situations when the ‘Old Money’ refrains from questioning.
It could be due to a desire for anonymity, not wishing to engage in depth, or an attempt to maintain a level of distance. It could also be a strategic move in certain social or professional scenarios, where withholding curiosity gives them an upper hand.
Imagine, for example, a conversation at a charity event where an ‘Old Money’ gentleman might ask, “How did you find yourself involved in this cause?” or “What are your thoughts on the recent changes in policy?”
These questions are not intrusive, yet they offer insights into the other person’s values and perspectives, all while keeping their own cards close to the chest.
Thus, the art of questioning is a tool wielded deftly by ‘Old Money,’ ensuring they remain in control, always.
#1 Behavior: Assumption Of Goodwill Upon Meeting
And lastly, contrary to the popular stereotype of the ‘Old Money’ as aloof or dismissive, they often exude an assumption of good will.
If you manage to gain access to their exclusive circles, you’re already considered ‘vetted’ — deserving of respect and acknowledgement.
Behind the scenes of ‘Old Money’ social dynamics is an elaborate system of vetting.
It involves ‘handlers’ — well-connected confidantes or professional social secretaries who are skilled in curating the composition of these exclusive circles.
They ensure that those who gain access are of a certain caliber — people who are interesting, accomplished, and carry themselves with a degree of class.
Given this pre-screening, ‘Old Money’ individuals often assume that if you’re in the room with them at a grand event, you must be of value.
Consequently, they are usually courteous and engaging, acknowledging the inherent worth of your presence.
To embody this mentality, consider two examples.
First, at a professional conference, approach every interaction with the belief that each individual is a potential partner, collaborator, or friend.
This perspective will make your conversations more respectful and engaging. Second, when hosting a dinner party, consider your guests already ‘vetted’ due to their connection with you. Treat each one as a valuable addition to your event, making them feel appreciated and respected.
Remember, the ‘Old Money’ is not just about wealth; it’s a mindset — an attitude of grace, respect, and mutual recognition. By embracing this mentality, you can navigate your social and professional lives with a renewed sense of confidence and class.
