Know what your heart speaks!- The five languages of love.
I recently took a test of “The five Love Languages of Love”. Although I already know myself what I am mostly using which I learned few years back, it was such a good way to see written facts about myself and understand why people tend to misunderstood each other. This test is taken from Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Languages of Love, The secret to love that lasts”. Many couples everywhere happen to have some issues sometimes not being addressed the way it should. But if only people know what love language their partner speaks it would be easier to solve things.
As defined in Chapman’s online test, the five languages of love are as follows:
Physical Touch — This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face — they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
The best way I can relate to this is a new born child that needs a physical touch of his/her mother. The child only understands that the touch is love given to him. Same goes with how we express our love with such gestures mentioned above to someone and how we feel comforted when somebody do the same.
Words of Affirmation — Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important — hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
It is the listening and speaking part that gives this love language a special way to connect with your loved ones. It is common that people who’s learning styles are auditory or speaking can best understand this. That it is not just the literal way to communicate with someone but rather express the truth within themselves in the most sincere way. Most definitely listening is an essential part of their relationship to solve issues.
Quality Time — In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there — with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby — makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Time is one of the factors that we need to consider when being in a relationship. It means even more to them when you find time to be with your partner if they speak this love language. As when you give your time to someone it also reflects who you are with respecting the time of others.
Acts of Service — Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
When you like doing someone a favor of doing things and you also appreciate it much when someone does that to you, this is probably the love language that you speak. It is the hands-on way of showing love to someone that you make your other-half life’s easier.
Receiving Gifts — Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous — so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
As love is giving it is the most thoughtful way to express your love when you give gifts to someone who speaks this love language. It makes your loved- one really special receiving something most specially if you know exactly what they like and when is the right timing to give it. It’s a matter of how you remember your partner and celebrate even in the most simplest way.
If your partner has not already done so, encourage him/her to take The 5 Love Languages® Profile. Discuss your respective love languages, and use this insight to improve your relationship!
Source: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ The highest score indicates your primary love language (the highest score is 12). It’s not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to you. The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect you very much on an emotional level. Learn more about your primary love language and how to put it to use next to the corresponding badge below. Important to Remember You may have scored more highly on certain love languages than others, but do not dismiss those other languages as insignificant. Your partner may express love in those ways, and it will be helpful to you to understand this about him/her. In the same way, it will benefit your partner to know your primary love language in order to best express affection for you in ways that you interpret as love. Every time you or your partner speak each other’s language, you score emotional points with one another. Of course, this isn’t a game with a scorecard! The payoff of speaking each other’s love language is a greater sense of connection. This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved romance.
Not many of us find true love but at least we want to make each relationship work with the person we love. Know what your heart speaks as well as what your partner does. This could be the key to a successful relationship.
Originally published at www.ocopolo.com.